Wow, what a powerful message!
It can really make you happy that some people *do* get it.
This advice can be handed to many in the average mom's social environment.
I'm curious as to what the grandmother had decided to do... ;o)
Kindly,
Marianne Vanderveen, Netherlands
----- Original Message -----
From: "vicki & ryan hayes" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2008 5:01 PM
Subject: [LACTNET] yeaaa!! columnist gives good advice to grandma about
nursing moms/babies
a few snips from CAROLYN HAX SYNDICATED COLUMNIST "Anxious grandma needs to
back off"
"Dear Carolyn: I am the proud grandmother of two beautiful granddaughters, 5
months old and 2 months old. They are the daughters of two of my sons, the
first for each. I am impatient for the quality memories I have planned for.
I have asked several times to have the girls for a few hours or overnight,
and the mothers always give me excuses, which I am sure seem valid to them,
such as they are breastfeeding, the babies don't like bottles,..the excuses
seem never ending......Am I wrong to feel restricted, or am I just
impatient?.....-- Somebody Call Me Grandma, Please!"
"Dear Grandma: .......What you want is to spend time with your grandbabies,
so here's my best shot at getting you that time: Embrace spending time with
their mothers....In other words, back off. Not completely, of course -- keep
offering your love. But do offer it in the form of help for them, as opposed
to emotional nourishment for you....
**Maybe most important, give them a little respect. Breastfeeding isn't an
"excuse" for saying no to an extended visit, it's a reason. These are small
babies whose nutrition is coming from Mom. If the mothers aren't pumping --
and why should they, if they neither have to nor choose to -- then mother
and baby are a package deal** (amen!~vicki) Offer to watch the babies in
their homes while the mothers nap, take a bubble bath, or read more than one
page of a book...
Once you get the balance right -- of helping them with their babies versus
demanding they offer up their babies to help you -- then you also get
something else right that's essential to your cause. You align yourself as
their advocate, someone who supports, reinforces and even enables their
choices as mothers."
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/hax/358578_hax11.html
vicki hayes rn ibclc in brunswick ga
mom of sean (9/00), harrison (9/03), and lachlan (3/2006)(my sweet little
nurseaholic!!)
www.myspace.com/that_username_is_taken
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