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Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Tue, 4 Jul 2000 23:15:05 -0500
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Perhaps.  Or, perhaps you've just been lucky.  I, too, am of the pretty
much anywhere is okay.  (Lots of support from DH helps.  Lots of criticism
from my mother doesn't.)  I don't consider myself the least bit ashamed,
and I was pretty sure I was giving off that same sort of "vibe," too.

But twice in the last 3 1/2 years I have been told "you can't do that
here."  Once in a Bradlee's in New Jersey (I sat down in the furniture
department), once in a public school in Texas.  Both times, because I'd
rehearsed variations of the situation in my head, I was able to say "Yes, I
can."  (The first time I requested the store manager immediately, the
second time, I just quoted state law, and said I'd bring it the next time I
came.)  And yet, it still flustered me a bit.  I can't imagine how I would
have reacted had I not gone over it mentally many times beforehand.

It turns out the teacher at the school -- my son is eligible for speech
therapy/early childhood special ed and the teacher had told me earlier that
day that "even though he'd probably adjust faster without me, I was more
than welcome to stay" -- (or perhaps it was the principal, whom the teacher
claimed said that if I was going to nurse in the school, it would have to
be in the bathroom) was concerned that the children might see my
breasts.  Oh no, what a concept. <sarcasm>

For many other reasons not related to the breastfeeding, my son attended
that program for just one day.  I had fully intended to follow up with the
teacher and/or principal at a later date by letter -- a nice, educational
rather than confrontational one -- as I knew, even as I said otherwise,
that my son was *not* going back to that program.  But reality intervened,
and the school was temporarily closed down within a few weeks of when this
all happened, at least until the fall, due to deadly mold that was found in
some of the classrooms.

But, I *will* write that letter once the school has reopened and things
have settled down, and I will make a point of educating -- pointing out all
the resources that are available to teach grade schoolers about nursing,
both in humans and other mammals.  I will point out that, most likely,
these kids whom they are trying to "protect" have probably already been
exposed to breastfeeding, either because they or a sibling or other
relative was breastfed.  And, hopefully, the letter will make a difference.

Cindy Tarsi
Austin, Texas

At 10:36 PM 7/3/2000 +0200, you wrote:
>Kathy Dettwyler wrote:
>
> >Ditto for me Barbara, but I think this is the crucial difference -- women
> >who are breastfeeding and not ashamed of it, not cowering, or covering up,
> >or hiding, or worrying about what people think -- project an image of strong
> >mother-woman-ness.  People are much less likely to approach them and ask
> >them to move, because it is clear they are not going to.
>
>
>I agree with you, Kathy,
>
>I too have the impression that something in my behaviour must signal to the
>others that I am sure about what I am doing (I am still breastfeeding my
>son who is 4 years and 9 months old - but since a long time he askes for it
>only for going to sleep and when he awakes) but nobody (except my husband,
>but i think this is a different issue - and also he gave up and since a
>long time he stopped to put me under pressure - as he recognized that it
>was only a waste of time and energy) never said to me something negative or
>even asked me to go to hide myself (I wouldn't have done it, of course),
>and I also nursed him in every place for years. There are two
>possibilities: I am very lucky, or people feel that it's not worth to say
>something. I am living in Italy and surly it is easier here than in US. One
>woman of my German breastfeeding-mailinglist wrote some time ago that she
>is getting much less negative comments since she is enforced by the other
>mothers of the list, than before when she felt unsure and was the only one
>who "still" breastfed a 5 month old baby.
>
>Greetings from Italy
>Ulrike
>
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