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Subject:
From:
Naomi Bar-Yam <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Thu, 28 Nov 2002 06:58:55 -0500
Content-Type:
text/plain
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>...you will very likely expereicne it at
>some point too. A client will totally misinterpret, hear differently, or
>report to someone else something totally different than what you actually
>said or did.

Here's my social work background coming through. There is often a big
difference between what comes out of the speaker's mouth and what
goes into the the listener's ears. Words have many meanings and they
are always sifted through the speaker's and the listener's mind as they
are said and heard.

I have found it helpful to have the client repeat in his or her own
words what I said to make sure we are all on the same page and something
hasn't been misunderstood. Usually I do this at the end of the session
(although it can be in the middle, too, if things are complicated) and
I have sometimes found it very revealing how my words are understood by
the other person. It has helped me clarify my speech in general and in
an individual situation, it allows things to be clarified before I leave.

I do a similar thing when I am meeting with colleagues, by phone or
in person. I always send a follow up note, usually by email, reviewing
the session. Then I ask the other participant(s) in the conversation if
their understanding was the same, or if I misinterpreted something.
People
have found this helpful for two reasons: They get to make sure we are all
on the same page and can clarify misunderstandings before there are
problems.
Also, everyone has a record of the conversation. It only takes a few
minutes
to do this and it can save much aggravation and backtracking to fix
misunderstandings.

BTW, this works with my kids too. When I have the feeling they are
spacing
me off when I ask them to do something, I ask them to repeat it. It's
sometimes amusing how they say it back to me, and I know whether
they "got it" or not.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Naomi Bar-Yam

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