I agree with Hannah Hunter that dental work on the still-nursing toddler
(mom is pregnant) may be an extraordinary measure not to be taken lightly.
And I also agree with her question "who is leading whom" here, and  "to
everything there is a season..."

However, I disagree with the "window of time" idea for weaning. When kids
are done with BF, they're DONE. When they still want to nurse, there is
still a NEED that is being met this way. Not fulfilling that need, for
whatever reason, should be very carefully considered and all options put on
the table including the dental treatment. Neither party of the
breastfeeding dyad should feel "done-to" by the other. When one wants to
continue BF and the other doesn't, a set of needs will go unmet with
unknown consequences. There is no age beyond which BF has no value to the
child who still wants to BF.

The age of the baby only matters a little here - I've heard the same
arguments for weaning babies of all ages when "someone" thinks that the
child has nursed "long enough." If the mom puts her need for comfort ahead
of her child's need to continue BF, she will grieve because she can no
longer meet BOTH sets of needs. A mom in this bind is in a no-win situation
- she doesn't feel comfortable placing her needs "above" her child, but
neither does she feel right denying her own needs for the sake of the
child.

This is the eternal paradox of mothering - to find a middle ground that a
mother and her child can "live with." Our job is to help her identify her
options and find remedies for those things that are fix-able, NOT make the
decisions for her nor push her toward a solution that is more in line with
popular opinion or our own personal values.

Linda J. Smith, BSE, FACCE, IBCLC
Bright Future Lactation Resource Centre
Dayton, OH USA
http://www.bflrc.com