Linda

How challenging for you!  I agree with Morgan that it's impossible to
prove a negative.

It always disturbs me when grown-up needs are presented as being more
important than those of very vulnerable small children.  Interesting
that the doctor (a man) points specifically to the competition for a
mother's time as it affects the father.  What he may not realize,
because he probably has little experience of family dynamics when
there is child-led weaning (AAP recommends breastfeeding for a year,
right?) is that babies and young childen take up time, regardless of
whether they're breastfed or not.  And that breastfeeding actually
makes life easier for the parents, not harder - breastfed toddlers
can be fed and comforted at the breast at any time, nursed to sleep
easily, etc and are usually confident, out-going little people
_because_ their emotional needs are fulfilled by an available,
responsive mother.  Mothers are going to be immersed in their
children.  Period.  This is how the human race survives.  Does this
take time "away" from husbands?  Certainly it does, but mothers
expect their husbands to be grown-up about it!   Why?  Because
mothers usually want to be in a relationship with a generous, warm
human being who wants the best for their children, rather than
attempting to compete with them, and it reflects very badly on men if
mothers have to deprive their children of something so crucial to
keep their husbands happy.

Pamela Morrison IBCLC
Rustington, England
----------------------
At 12:25 25/08/2010, you wrote:
>Date:    Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:45:29 +0300
>From:    Linda Shaker Berbari <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: Re: Breastfeeding beyond one year and family dynamics
>
>Dear Nina,
>He is speaking from his experience with his patients. He said, this was a
>conclusion that he has made based on what he's seen with his patients and
>that usually mothers are so immersed with breastfeeding they dismiss the
>possibility that any of the members of the family is affected. He insists
>that he is a great supporter of breastfeeding but not beyond one year.
>Anyway, I will ask to show me the evidence.
>Thanks for the response.
>Regards,
>Linda

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