> My guess is that the mother is reacting to her baby being a
> different gender
> than expected. I remember seeing a mother years ago who was told after an
> ultrasound that her baby was a boy, only to discover at birth that it was,
> in fact, a girl. She told me it felt like she'd been given the
> "wrong" baby.
> People couldn't understand why she felt sad and rather detached from the
> baby - but in her mind, she'd "lost" the son she had been expecting. She
> certainly overcame this and fell in love with her darling baby
> girl - but it
> was initially very emotionally upsetting.

It is amazing how strong those reactions can be.  Years ago, when I was
working as a military social service case worker for the American Red Cross,
one of my jobs was to notify new fathers who were at sea that their babies
had been born.  Once, after taking the info on sex, weight, etc, I asked if
mom had a personal message for the new dad.  Usually it was along the lines
of "he has your nose" or "she has a head full of dark hair".  The message
this mother wanted to send (via her mother who was making the call to me)
was "I am so sorry".  The baby was the wrong sex.  I refused to send that
and the grandmother and I substituted something generic, but more
appropriate.

Kathy, in Maryland

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