Dear all:

I actually haven't had so many problems with Ezzo lately although I see it on bedstands 
all the time.  But this week really has been overwhelming with 2 cases of plugged ducts 
from mothers desparately trying to nudge their babies into the feeding patterns of the 
"contented little baby" book. The first mom had a lovely mother who completely 
reinforced her breastfeeding and constantly pointed out how well she was doing and how 
well she was reading her baby's cues.  Once her mom left she resorted to the book.   The 
other baby is big nine pounder and currently thriving, but mom has put him on a reduced 
number of feedings and is holding him up with a pacifier when he gets hungry at 4:30 
am.  She actually had an excellent routine prior to reading the book that almost any 
mother would have been happy with.  Her baby slept 6 hours every night.  BUT the book 
told her to drop a feeding. Then end result is that he sleeps less now.  I showed her how 
much he was taking and how he couldn't get enough if he dropped a feeding and 
suggested modifications within her "routine" so she wouldn't feel she was drifting out of 
control.  

Then, there is a trend among one pediatric group in the city to send parents to a "sleep 
trainer" at 3 months.  I had to reassure a mother that she wasn't negligent for not 
wanting to go to a sleep trainer.  She was completely happy with her routine.

Finally, I have finally seen a mother of multiples who can CONSISTENTLY feeds both at 
once.  One baby is regurgitating a bit and can't always hold out until his sister is ready to 
feed, but mom herself has no problems feeding him.  She says she was in tears a week 
ago because she went to a "British nanny" session where the other moms had conformed 
to some sort of "schedule".  She felt terrible because she hadn't managed to "schedule 
her twins.  She was the only one in the group exclusively breastfeeding (that's right - not 
a drop of formula ever) and the only one with twins.  I honestly think this mother saw me 
only to get over the bad session where she felt like she was the worst mother in the 
group.  I kept emphasizing that she should feel proud of herself for exclusively 
breastfeeding not just one, but two babies and getting into a routine that worked for her 
and her babies.

I still remember the only time I intervened in a playground discussion between two 
moms.  One was a mom of twins who happily cobedded with her babies.  The other was a 
mom of one who Ferberized her kid.  She was harranging the other mom about sleep 
training.  When the mom of twins left, I actually went over to her and quietly explained 
that we all have different ways of doing things and if her friend was happy with a 
different routine than hers, especially with two babies, it might actually be OK.

Whatever happened to Mary Poppins?  I actually rewatched it when my son was little and 
she managed to get the distracted "trophy wife" who was running around doing 
everything but care for her children and the too busy "corporate husband" to pay 
attention to their children and spend time with them.  I don't remember her suggesting to 
put their children on some schedule so they could ignore them and fulfill only their own 
needs.

Best, Susan Burger

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