>Hi Netters,
>I just noticed a study on the Reuter's news on the web about the effect
>of perceived warmth of a parent's love on their child's health 35 years
>later. The study was published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine
>(1997;20(1):1-13).

I want to tell you a story about my father's family.  There were four sons,
born in 1913+.  My grandmother was very well read and was exposed to Emmett
Holt's advice of training and programming children from day one.  She was a
most detatched mother who believed that she should hold her sons minimally,
rocking would damage their brains, etc.  They were left to cry alone and
were trained by the clock and calendar.

Everything went as she ordained...except for one son.  Grandmother had a
maid named Mamie who loved third son, Bill, and there used to be many
stories in the family of how Mamie spoiled Bill and carried him and cuddled
him when Grandmother wasn't around--which was often as she was a busy woman
of the community. Grandmother scolded her often for her transgressions.

These four boys grew up, married, had careers, and (fortunately for me) had
children.  But they were all very angry men (except Bill), and they found
life to be most burdensome and without joy (except Bill), and they were very
harsh and detatched with their children (except Bill).

Son number two, my father, had his first heart attack at the age of 41 and
he died of a heart attack at the age of 55.

Son number four had his first heart attack at 38 and died of a heart attack
at 45.

Son number one had his first heart attack at 44 and died at 59.

Number three son--Guess Who-- had a full life, with adventures which he was
always up for, he saw life as good and saw the good in people he met
everywhere.  He had a career in the Navy, followed by a college
professorship, followed by public speaking in support of the Peace Movement,
followed by election to the state House of Rep. And he is still alive at 81.
Everyone loves to be around him.  Young and old come to see him to hear his
stories and share in his organic garden that he tends himself. He chuckles
and smiles at what life has offered him and his children have joyful stories
of Dad's loving arms and spirit. He is so very much alive and finds much to
be grateful for.

My scientific study of four subjects might not hold up for publication, but
I am certain what went on in the lives of these sons.  Those early years
paint the backdrop for our life stage and all that happens "fits" what we've
been prepared for. Of course, we can correct some of the scenery, slapping
some paint on here or there, adding more flowers and rainbows, but it is so
much easier if we are affirmed as persons from the beginning, assuring us
that it is good to be here.

Patricia Gima, IBCLC
Milwaukee
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