I thought Judy's post (below) summed up Lactnet, and the interactions and 
learning that is the essence of LN, among people from many backgrounds - 
cultural, national, regional, circumstantial, and more. The fact that we are 
all working in this caring area, and take time to share in this forum, shows 
that as individuals we have a commitment to the mothers and babies we work 
with. We really care, and this makes us vulnerable sometimes. From time to 
time we see mothers and babies who, for a variety of reasons, challenge us. 
This may be because of the underlying challenge, a multiplicity of problems, 
a rare situation, or the mother's attitude or personality. Sometimes we need 
debriefing after a particularly challenging interaction. All of this is the 
mix of working with breastfeeding mothers and babies. Ultimately, the rich 
tapestry of all this, and the necessity to keep learning, is one of the 
wonders of this field.

Virginia
in Brisbane, QLD, Aust


Judy LeVan Fram wrote;
> ~~~ Hello Wise and Compassionate ones.
> I think Elizabeth makes an excellent point. LN has been for me, not just a
> place to listen and learn, but a place to lament, to vent, and to ask the
> hard  questions and share emotionally challenging responses. I would 
> venture
> to  speculate that even if a poster is expressing something that seems 
> like
> a  judgment, it is because this has been considered a safe place, and for
> some one  of the only places, to share the feelings around that
> statement/judgment. It is  not something that would be said to a mother 
> who just wants an
> answer to her  question. We know that the counseling part of this work is
> key, meeting a  mother where she is, asking questions and being willing to
> hear her answers, and  the questions and answers beneath them, assisting 
> her
> with information about  factors she may not have known or considered
> regarding her choices. Most of us  have worked with, counseled, moms who 
> will at
> some points do something radically  different than we did as mothers, or 
> even
> something that might have severe,  irreversible or unintended 
> consequences.
> We have all walked that line,  needing to give the best information we 
> can,
> while supporting a mother in her  goals,  in the choices she is making,
> whether we would make them, or  whether we even see them as being 
> feasible( mom
> wants to build her supply toward  normal but doesn't want to pump at all, 
> or
> to put baby to breast, but will drink  galactogogic tea ...). We will
> support and work with whatever effort a mom  can make at the time. 
> Sometimes that
> is exceptionally difficult. I think  that's why we see so much passion on
> LN, because this is one place we can show  it. This is one reason I think 
> we
> are asked never to forward a post without the  permission of the poster.
> Even if we would give the exact same information, we  would probably give 
> it
> much differently, in tone, in form, in breadth, in depth,  and totally
> individualized as we can make it.Lactnet is one place we can be  honest, 
> we can
> support and challenge each other respectfully,  and we  can be as 
> passionate as
> we are, because so much of our work requires a deep  level of moderation 
> to
> remain as calm, compassionate and as capable of helping  mothers, as this
> work demands. And we are not, despite the shared commitment to  this work,
> monolithic in our approach and values and beliefs, about infant
> feeding/nurturing, or any other aspect of life that comes into contact 
> with that  work.
> We have different backgrounds, styles of communication, boundaries, and
> triggers. I think that has always been one of the beauties of this 
> "place."
> The safety of the shared parts makes possible the challenge of  the
> differences. It's kind of amazing, actually.

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