Ann Marie, One of things you might mention in your talk is that the mother
may wish to continue pumping.  It has been my experience that mothers may NOT
want to stop.  Recently, I cared for a mother who had lost her 24 week son at
about a week or so of age.  Due to the fact that this was her fourth child,
and that, according to her, she makes a copious supply, each time she
breastfeeds, she had been interested in milk donation.  I had spoken to her
soon after she delivered, and we agreed to  see how her supply was with a
pump, since pumping may be different or her in regard to milk supply.  She
was readmitted to the floor with a postpartum infection, requiring heavy duty
antibiotics.  She still was pumping and really was not ready to stop.  She
told me that one of the nurses told her, "Your baby is dead.  You have to
stop pumping." and another said, "I've had 18 and 20 weeks losses, too.  You
need to accept that your baby is dead."  (Don't worry, I took care of those
issues with the appropriate people, including the director of OB nursing.)
These statements, of course, are absolutely awful.  I am ashamed to work at
an institution where these people practice.  I comforted the mother and gave
her the information she needs to donate and told her the milk bank will be
THRILLED to get her milk, since it's perfect for 24 week babies--and that
many babies could be fed with her milk and so on.  I left several articles
about bereavement and lactation, along with an email to the nurse manager and
those further up.  This mom was readmitted with yet another fever to the same
floor, and so far, so good.  The nurses have supported her wishes to keep
pumping.  She is well aware that her baby is dead--she held him as he died
when support was withdrawn.  She just wants to keep pumping so her baby's
life has meaning and value.  It is her wish to pump until she feels like
stopping, whenever that might be.  She's not the first  mother who has told
me that--she won't be the last.  My hope is that mothers who deliver where I
work will be supported, not judged.
A little "educating" is a good thing.
                                                            Maureen Allen RN,
BSN, IBCLC
                                                            Lactation
Consultant-NICU
                                                            Brigham and
Women's Hospital
                                                            Boston, MA

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