> I see enough mothers in the community who do fine after they get home.=20=
>
> Things settle down, they are more comfortable in their own 
> surroundings=20=
>
> and they just do it. > If Mom has always had the mindset that she would 
> ultimately nurse her=20
> children, then she probably will be successful. It's those who are sittin=
> g=20
> on the fence anyway (even before the birth) who are often harder to help.=
> =20
> My personal feeling is that they are probably not totally committed to=20=
>
> making this work. Their hearts are not in it in the same way.
>

I have heard this many, many, many times - basically, if the mother REALLY 
wanted to succeed at breastfeeding, she would have made it work. If the 
mother doesn't succeed, it isn't the fault of the hospital routines and 
inaccurate information she was given - it was because she was not "totally 
committed" and "her heart wasn't in it."

I can't tell you how much this comment bothers me.

First, it is not true. I have seen way too many mothers who desperately 
wanted to make breastfeeding work but were given such terrible advice or so 
much interference in the early days that they weren't able to (at least not 
exclusively). These comments totally discount all the pain and struggles and 
heartache they have been through - it was their fault because "their hearts 
are not in it." Wrong. Sometimes mothers are totally committed and still 
can't overcome the problems created by their hospital experiences.

Secondly, even if it is true, it is a bad way for things to be. Why should 
someone have to be "totally committed" in order to feed her baby in the 
normal way?? We should be making it as easy as possible for someone with 
even a half-hearted interest in breastfeeding to nurture her baby at the 
breast, not setting up barriers for her to overcome and then blaming her if 
she doesn't.

Teresa Pitman
(sorry if that sounded like a bit of a rant, but I have been hearing that 
comment for nearly 30 years now and it still upsets me.) 

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