Fiona, I did essentially the same thing with my daughter--I got up to nurse,
rock, soothe and then she went back to bed in her own bed in her own room.  We
did nap together during the day, but at night it worked better for her to be
there. My hubby in particular was reluctant to have her in bed with us.

Your post reminded me of something that James McKenna said at the '94 ILCA
conference in Atlanta. He encouraged us to broaden our definition of
"co-sleeping" to include the kind of nighttime parenting you and I chose. It
made me feel so good to hear that since up to that point I had been thinking
that I somehow shortchanged my daughter by not having her in the bed. Perhaps I
did, but not to the extent I might have once thought.

Just like breastfeeding is a relationship between mom and baby, so is nighttime
parenting. Any decisions that are made MUST take into consideration both the
parents' needs and the baby's needs. I believe in giving the baby the benefit of
the doubt, however, since he can't speak for himself.

Have y'all seen the latest Parenting Magazine? (Probably not for those out of
the US). The cover story is "Baby in the Bed?" I scanned the article while
standing in line at the grocery store the other day. Two articles presented two
sides of the question, and it was interesting. Breastfeeding was mentioned
almost as a given and that baby in bed makes that easier to deal with. James
McKenna was quoted about his SIDS studies, though the article made it sound much
more iffy than I would like to think. Various other experts were quoted,
including Dr. Ferber, Dr. Spock, Dr. Sears, Dr. Neifert. Some placed
restrictions (okay for the first "X" number of weeks, months, but after that if
you don't get them out you never will), and others (notably Dr. Sears) were much
more relaxed and understand that a child will move out when they are ready--just
like they will wean when they are ready.

I don't think the article will change minds. Those in favor of co-sleeping will
find the arguements against it trifling, and those opposed will continue to be
against it. It was nice to see it addressed in a national magazine tho.

Melissa Vickers, IBCLC
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