>Dear all,
>
>Apologies in advance if this seems trivial but I felt I wanted to share.


It's not at all trivial - there is a lot of unhappiness engendered by
attitudes and outlooks like this doctor's.

>
>I was having a conversation yesterday with a family doctor about
>breastfeeding and he was convinced that breastfeeding beyond one year can
>have "detrimental effects on family dynamics" as he put it. He was sure that
>a mother breastfeeding beyond one year is "owned" by only one member of the
>family and that this can negatively affect the other members of the family
>including the husband.

<snip>

Family dynamics are an academic interest of mine and I have never
come across any research that would support what this doctor is
saying.

It is the biological norm to breastfeed for several years, so we'd be
looking at something social and cultural to do with breastfeeding
*per se*.

It is perfectly possible for partners and other family members to
feel excluded by the closeness between the mother and one of her
children.

This 'exclusion' can lead to what we would accept as 'normal' sibling
acting-out in small children when there's a baby on the scene, or
some friction because of the  adjustment in the parents' relationship
with each other.  That's life, and there is nothing pathological
about it.

Truly serious problems, the ones that *don't* resolve with love,
patience, tolerance and a dose of maturity,  would not be *caused* by
the mother breastfeeding. Breastfeeding, solely because it is an
obvious and visible aspect of a relationship, might come to be seen
as 'the problem'...quite erroneously.

You ask how to turn this doctor around. You could ask him why he
thinks the way he does. It is possible he has witnessed some family
problems and in some of them, the mother is bf beyond a year. It is
also possible he has some stuff going on in his *own head* that sees
a mother and a bf baby over a year as something uncomfortable and he
is rationalising it in this way (I mean, why a year? Why not 15
months? Or 6 mths? Or 27 weeks? What is special about a particular
date on the calendar?).  Logically, he'd accept the baby needs milk
for a healthy diet at this young age. Why would the milk of another
species be better for the baby? And given the method of delivery of
this superior food is breasts, why not breastfeeding?

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc, tutor UK
--
http://www.heatherwelford.co.uk

http://heatherwelford.posterous.com

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