Yael's post on relactating sound similiar to what happened to me with my first baby.  Thank god I had never heard of "nipple confusion"(I agree with Barbara's comments on the subject and I think we should call it "mother confusion.") because I might not have even attempted to relactate.  I believe, though, that learning to breastfeed is more about a client's mental outlook than her physical capabilities.  And no I am not doing the "blame game."  I think many women want very much to breastfeed but just cannot fit it into their version of "reality with baby."  Our belief about what it will be like with a baby is shaped in part by the media, memories of our own family life, and views of other families.  We have a society that pressures women back into employment far too early.  And, we seem to have this mind set about babies and children--the need to be an adult in control of our babies and children.  Lack of the ability to control our babies or children in this society is met with disapproval.  Lack of control can be a baby that cries(at the wrong time or anytime) or children that don't respond quickly enough to an adult.  I believe that breastfeeding seems to some adults like a lack of control of the infant, like the infant is in control not the mother.  I believe that this often becomes a major obstacle for many mothers who want to breastfeed.  They want to control breastfeeding and it can be done but it makes for greater difficulities.  I find this concept similiar to our society's need to control labor and delivery.  Instead of letting breastfeeding(labor and delivery)happen, we jump in and try to fix it.  We control it and actually lose the very thing we so desperately want. Valerie W. McClain, IBCLC

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