Hi, Donna I'm almost afraid to comment after reading all the e-mails on
your tandem nursing mom but I've been mulling it over in my mind for days.  I
guess I feel compelled because, I have two boys 6 and 21 months and the
sibling rivalry is a frequent problem.  I have discovered two books that have
helped my considerably.  They are by the same authors, Adele Faber and Elaine
Mazlish.  They are, "Siblings without rivalry ," and "How to talk so kids
will listen & listen so kids will talk."

Some suggestions from the book, I have used successfully are:
1. Acknowledge feelings.  "It seems that sometimes do you feel like you love
your
                                                    brother and at other
times you hate him.  That's O.K."
2.  Sit down with all members of the family  and discuss the problem.  Write
down all
      solutions without critiquing them.  Sometimes just talking about it
solves
     the  problem even if you don't come up with an acceptable solution for
all.
3.  Use fantasy to give a child what they can't have.  Let's pretend you have
your
       mommy all to your self for the whole day!
4. Channel negative feelings into creative outlets.  Have child draw a
picture of how
    they feel.
I could go on with the ideas in this book.  They are presented after
discussion in cartoon form for easy review.  I confess I reread this book for
new ideas on a regular basis.  It seems that motherhood is often a constant
challenge, we solve one problem and we move onto the next.

Chris Betzold, MSN, RNP, CLE

             ***********************************************
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html