I wonder if it would work to try to help the 4 year old sister identify in the role of mothering with a doll that is "her own baby” that she can care for alongside her mother caring for the baby sibling.  This could involve having a little toy bed and blanket (even a shoe box will work), a doll stroller or carriage that she can use to walk "her baby", a wrap or carrier to carry her “baby” about.  The six month old sibling may be starting solids, so older sister could also practice spoon feeding her doll.   And she could nurse her baby doll alongside mother nursing the baby sibling.  

This often is helpful for 2 or 3 or 4 year old siblings of new babies who do not have Down Syndrome or other developmental challenges.  I don’t know why it would not be worth trying in this situation.  

With hospitalized children it is helpful to make them a doctor or nurse kit and let them play at being the doctor or nurse, rather than always seeing themselves as the patient “victim."  We call it “identification with the aggressor.”  It empowers the child to play act like they are in charge.  It can work similarly to help the child identify as the parent caregiver rather than as the rival baby seeking for mother’s attention.

Anne Altshuler, RN, MS, IBCLC, LLLL (with a background in Pediatric Nursing)
Madison, WI, USA

> Date:    Thu, 9 Jun 2016 06:23:21 -0500
> From:    Pat Young <[log in to unmask] <mailto:[log in to unmask]>>
> Subject: weaning older child
> 
> from  a leader friend...
> Who can offer weaning help for an older nursling with Downs Syndrome?
> PTP: I have an LLL mom who is tandem nursing her daughters... a 4.5 year old who has downs syndrome and a 6 month old. She has been trying for at least 18 months old to wean the oldest. It has become very difficult to nurse her. She is jealous of the baby and wants to nurse every time the baby nurses. She is combative towards the baby while they are nursing. The mother has been very loving and patient but is just done nursing her oldest and wants to wean her as soon as possible. The young girl has a language ability of about 2 to 3 years, and not much understanding for delayed or shortened nursing or substitutions. We have been trying to troubleshoot with her and offer suggestions, but it is not getting any easier. Since the baby was born her oldest wants to nurse more than ever. What suggestions or resources do you have that we can offer to her? Thank you!

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