Thanks Darillyn!
I recently learned that my cousin's teenage daughter just had a baby.  I
asked was she nursing and he said "No, we didn't want her to be bothered."
I told him (on no uncertain terms), that was too bad because not only was
the child lacking the very best chances for protection and enhancing his
health, but that his daughter was missing a chance 'to get' the importance
of what she was doing by having a baby.

Quite frankly I don't care about people feeling guilty or being offended.
The promotion of the convenience factor over health and nurturing is a
despicable legacy from a profit-mongering priority, lacking wisdom or
direction for life. ( I really want to say, why bother having a baby if
you're not going to give your best?)  Yes, I agree it could be appropriate
for mothers to feel guilty while at times it might not be useful.  GUilt
can be such a dead end.  Sure there are those who can't nurse, for
legitimate reasons, but that is not the norm!  The mentality that whatever
you want, you should have, precludes really considering consequences or the
challenge of meeting life's opportunities.  Mothering has to be recognized
as an experience in life, requiring intentional effort and resulting from
partnering, nesting, nurturing, and sharing love.

Possibly women have to be made to understand that given the current climate
they need to be determined to succeed at nursing  and in order to provide
the best nurturing...  That they need to build support systems, to be in
touch with those who are knowledgable and with whom they have a rapport.

I met some other older mothers who also nursed their sons for a long time
and they felt strongly about not wanting their sons to marry women who
weren't committed to nursing.  I must confess I felt the same way and as I
write it here it represents an important legacy to me.  A connection of
intelligent tenderness.

At the same time, the most influence I ever had was inadvertent.  A
friend's sister became pregnant and her family wasn't sure about her
ability to handle it because she'd always led such an alternative lifestyle
and they asked me to speak with her.  I was nursing my son when I spoke
with her, and while I enjoined her to get clear about her commitment to her
baby, she watched me nurse.  She remembers witnessing us as a nursing
couple, and she knew that was for her.  She got married and went on to have
four children altogether, all of whom she has nursed.  And she still
remembers that incident as a major deciding factor for her.  All I remember
is that I wanted her to decide what she needed in order to be a mother...
and that her baby would need that from her.

I feel there's so much good about the dynamic of nursing that to describe
it only in terms of its physiological benefits is to diminish it.  It is a
wholly holy state and it's appalling to me that human beings so easily
overlook and disregard such vital elements of life.

It's hard not to be offensive.  I still say it's too bad whenever I hear of
that decision, not to nurse.  An unnursed child is a deprived child.  And
so what if you can survive without it, is that all we want?  With all the
knowledge and means of our time, why should we settle for mere survival
especially when we don't even respect subsistence.   What a morass state of
ignorance.

E#
BF Advocate