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Subject:
From:
Laura or Scott Barmby <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Mon, 20 Jul 1998 16:39:59 -0400
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I have faced similar situations so many times (who counseling breastfeeding
women hasn't).  It is my feeling that women who were (in their own minds)
unsuccessful with breastfeeding seem to need validation that they really
couldn't breastfeed.  I find that some mothers have the need to justify why
they didn't breastfeed as long as I did,( as if I were the norm).

I used to tell them how they were misinformed, that there is almost no
situation where breastfeeding is impossible, that if they had only done
this...  My feeling is that by doing this, although I was providing
accurate information, it was very hurtful to the mother.

Now when faced with this situation, as I was last week, I compliment the
mother on the fact that she attempted breastfeeding at all (unfortunately,
many mothers don't), and ask how long she did actually breastfeed.  Then I
try to come up with a statistic that gives her a good feeling about what
she did accomplish.  A good example is "Did you know that because you
breastfed for longer than 8 days and therefore did not introduce cow's milk
products before the baby was 8 days old you have helped reduce her risk of
IDDM?"

I find that it helps them to feel that I am not judging them for what they
did or did not do as far as breastfeeding is concerned.  I can then also
let them know that in many cases with the right support at the right times,
the problems they experienced can be overcome and breastfeeding can
continue longer if they wish.

The main reason that I add the part about overcoming problems is so that
they may remember that when telling the same story to others or when a
subsequent child comes along.  It is very frustrating to have the same
myths about "I couldn't breastfeed because....." perpetuated.

Laura Barmby

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