Ok, so I just have to respond one more time.  Many of you made some very
good points to which I agree with!  I liked how Marianne reframed my
sentence where I said "just because I did "x" and it was good for me doesn't
mean "x" will be right for you."



**I would like to reframe your sentence:

"Just because I made choices that allowed me to work out X (temporarily 

refraining myself from other time consuming activities that would separate 

me from my nursling), because it is the best way to do things (i.e. feeding 

at breast exclusively until 6 months), doesn't mean that other people are 

willing to rearrange their lives in order to provide their babies with the 

best they can get: loving presence, responsive caregiving, a comforting 

breast to satisfy baby's needs."  - Marianne

 

That's what I see a LOT.  My husband and I were WILLING to live on one
income.  We shopped at second hand stores and yard sales and received some
gov't subsidies.  (WIC and food stamps when he was still in school and we
had NO income.  I still stayed home with our babies!)  That's one thing I
meant about the different generations.  The baby boomers versus the x
generation versus the y generation.... all can see things thru different
lenses.  I didnt ever "fit" in my generational description, and those that
don't, probably are the ones that choose to "sacrifice" their needs for
their childrens needs.

 

 And someone said how "the needs of babies don't change."  Amen to that!  I
agree wholeheartedly!!!  Babies NEED to be held and touched and loved on and
cuddled...and fed at the breast!

 

But that's where we have some generational differences.  Some WANT big homes
and lots of money and nice things and are unwilling to sacrifice those
things for their children's needs of love, nurturing and time.  They will
argue that they give their children all the love etc that their baby needs.


They pump to give their baby the best nutrition they can.  They pump to keep
their babies from having formula.  Good for them!  Do I still encourage them
to breastfeed and do STS and cobathe and cosleep...you bet.  Do I push those
things on them.  No.  I let them know it is healthy, good and encouraged,
but ultimately it is their decision.  They are their childs parent, not me.

 

My own daughters, even tho they are of a different generation, know and
understand the significance and importance and pleasure of choosing to stay
at home with their own children.  Neither are to that point in their life
yet, but they have both spoken quite frankly to others in such ways that I
know they plan to do so for as long as possible.

 

Heather states: 

 You ask us to 'meet mothers where they are at' - but what if they are 'at'
where they are 'at' because of commercial, political, social and other
forces placing them there? 

 

Good point!  Its HORRIBLE that moms have to go back to work at 6 wks or
sooner!  Its NOT FAIR that moms don't get a year of maternity leave!  Yes,
we need to fight for longer maternity leaves and changes in the work force!
But what do we do until then????  Make them feel guilty for going back to
work?  Why don't they sell their house and live on one income????  I did.
"X" worked for me, so "X" will work for them!  Sorry.  I will just love them
and help them where they are at!  I will help them explore their options.
But if their only viable option is to work outside the home and pump while
away from their babies...then I will support them where they are at.  And if
they are just too uncomfortable to breastfeed out in public and would rather
pump and bottle feed, I will show them how they can breastfeed discretely,
but will ultimately let them choose, and support them where they are at.  

 

The good news is that the "Y" generation that is in their early 20's is more
family oriented and less career oriented, so things may shift back anyway!

 

Linda Hill RN, IBCLC

 


             ***********************************************

Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
COMMANDS:
1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome