LACTNET Archives

Lactation Information and Discussion

LACTNET@COMMUNITY.LSOFT.COM

Options: Use Forum View

Use Monospaced Font
Show Text Part by Default
Show All Mail Headers

Message: [<< First] [< Prev] [Next >] [Last >>]
Topic: [<< First] [< Prev] [Next >] [Last >>]
Author: [<< First] [< Prev] [Next >] [Last >>]

Print Reply
Subject:
From:
Christina Smillie <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sat, 8 Sep 2007 16:12:22 -0400
Content-Type:
text/plain
Parts/Attachments:
text/plain (51 lines)
And thanks Liz, for your clarification, on both lists.
I get it, what you were doing.
I often wonder if the babies are not so much mad "at" the breast, as 
they are frustrated by their own disorganization "at" the breast, caused 
by the conflict between actually wanting to breastfeed, that innate 
desire and drive, but finding it difficult to follow thru on those 
instincts because of being disorganized by the negative associations of 
being there (from prior shoving etc).  Mom also usually looks pretty 
upset, but it's not because she doesn't want to breastfeed, but because 
she desperately wants to, and is so frustrated and upset by her 
experience. I think baby is the same way. In any event, it seems to help 
to interpret it this way to the mother, that the baby isn't angry at her 
or her breast, but is frustrated, just like she is, because he wants to 
do it, but his frustration is getting in his way. Vicious cycle.

We address this in our office by taking time "off" from "trying" to 
breastfeed, mom continues to express and feed by her alternative method 
of choice, then letting baby do skin on skin AFTER most/all feeds, when 
baby is totally milk drunk, to reestablish that trust, no shoving, not 
trying, just cozy and happy and asleep skin against skin, and also--NO 
skin on skin when awake enough for baby to experience that inner 
conflict. Not trying to get baby to latch, so only skin on skin sound 
asleep. Then, after a day or two, or at most usually not more than a 
week or so, depending on how long the distressing and frustrating 
attempts had been going on, you then wait for those magic moments when 
baby seems "more grown up than usual" ie. by eye contact and interaction 
with mom, and when mom "impulsively" feels like it might work, they can 
"play around" with breastfeeding. If it's impulsive on mom's part, by 
invitation from the baby, something in the baby's behavior made her 
think it might work, it usually does. Often occurs partway, or most of 
the way, thru an alternative feed, when baby is socializing with mom, 
making eye contact, has hunger partially met, so not so crazy as to get 
disorganized. But then, once following baby's lead, the emphasis has to 
be on "playing" with breastfeeding, not "working" at it or "trying," so 
that we keep the mood that works, or else stop when the mood changes and 
wait for another time. Usually if they've had a few days to "reboot" 
they forget those negative associations and can follow their instincts 
no problem. But mom has to be willing to only do this by invitation, 
keep it fun, and keep the breast a happy place to be. Then it happens. 
On baby time.
Tina

             ***********************************************

Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
Mail all commands to [log in to unmask]
To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or [log in to unmask])
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet or ([log in to unmask])
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]

ATOM RSS1 RSS2