I had to scan to the bottom to be sure I hadn't sent that posting.
Boy, can I identify with it!!!!!  One complaint seems to outweigh
dozens of compliments.  Add to that the fact that people seem to be
louder and longer when they complain than when they priase and you
can get very discouraged.  I never used to "ask" for compliments,
but I have learned, when a mom tells me how much I have helped her,
to suggest she drop a note to the hospital letting them know the
program was helpful to her as such comments are a big help when
budgets and programs are reviewed.  It also helps to keep copies of
any comments you are aware of.  (I call mine the "boquets and
brickbats" file.  There are definitely far more "boquets".)  Another
thing is that I find people compliment me directly to my face and if
they have a complaint, they send it to management.  Unfortunately,
when there are negative comments, there is often such a gap in time
that we can't alwyas recall the details of the encounter.  Even if
mom writes right away, it usually goes through several hands before
it is brought to me.  I have had it happen that at my annual review,
the supervisor brings up a complaint that came in months earlier!  I
have since asked that any negative comments be brought to my
attention immediately while there is still a chance to remember the
details.  We certainly document visits with moms, but do not record
the entire conversation!  If a mom is unhappy with her care in
general, I think patients tend to vent less on the nurses on whom
she is dependent for her care and comfort and more on the person who
has less direct contact.  Also, she may have several nurses who have
cared for her and not remember specific names, while there may well
have been only 1 LC, thus making it easier for her to remember the
name to cite.

I find it interesting that when a mom complains about my contact
with her is is always me that held to blame, but if I mention that a
particular nurse gave a bottle or pacifier without mom's permission
(or even against her stated wishes) or in other ways undermines what
we are trying to accomplish, the response is, "She was just doing
the best she could."  But if I try to say, "I did the best I could",
it is an unacceptable response!

We would certainly wish every mom we come in contact with feels we
made a positive impact.  Unfortunately, we can't please all the
people all the time.  We do have a responsibility to give moms
information to help them make fully informed decisions.  It is
frustrating when this comes back as being "pushy" or a siimilar
comment.  I have tried to ask how they would respond if a patient
complained that a nurse, on discharging mom and baby, was "too
pushy" about baby having to be correctly in the car seat.  The
answer was,"Well, babies don't die from not being breastfed!"
Evidence to the contraty is totally ignored.  The other complaint is
often that by suggesting other approaches or discussing, for
example, why we recommend avoiding bottles and pacifiers while baby
is learning, we are accused of not being supportive of family
centered care.  It seems that "family centered" is interpreted as
"do whatever the parents want-don't suggest alternatives".  My
stance is that baby is part of the family, too and who else is
speaking for the baby's needs and preferences?!

So, Pam, hang in there and don't let these roadblocks deter you from
the help you give moms and babies.  If every one of us that has had
similar experiences threw in the towel, there'd be a lot less LCs
practicing!  Certainly, any complaint should cause us to look at
what we are saying and how we say it to see if we can improve on how
we practice.  However, if we let it make us "wimp down" our
practice, far more moms will be affected negatively!

Winnie

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