At 10:07 AM 11/2/96 -0500, you wrote:
>I am dumbfounded by the lack of support and advice I expected to find here
>on lactnet in relation to the problem I now find myself in. ...... It's
been nine days, now, since the corrective (lip repair) surgery my
>bilateral cleft baby went through last Thursday. He hasn't nursed at all
>since the morning of the operation,

Carrie, I am sorry you have not received any advice to help you overcome
this problem.  I suspect it is because as a group, even of breastfeeding
"experts" we just don't know what to do here.

I expect you are treating the lack of nursing as you would a generic
"nursing strike" by pumping, cuddling, encouraging, attempting to latch
while sleeping, attempting to latch in warm bath.  I also expect you are
riding it out but with some dwindling hope for a "cure" as time passes.
Baby's mouth must hurt, the tight skin must have a major effect.  You are
feeling depressed.  But I hope you stick it out a while longer.  This is
bound to be worse than the generic "nursing strike" as there is a suture
line and tight skin to contend with.  Maybe this means it will take longer
to "cure".

Is there anything that can help ease the skin tightness?  Do any positions
seem to be less of a strain?  Does the doctor think the skin will "stretch"
with time?  How long?  Just where is the tightness (inner or outer lip)?
Does the baby take baby tylenol?  Would that make any difference?  Can you
use any local numbing medications?  What about ointments to ease the skin?
Any herbal remedies anyone?
What about pumping and letting him nurse on a "dry" breast.  Maybe the
softness of the expressed breast would be easier to handle.  Maybe his
throat also hurts from the anesthesia.


I wish I had  answers.  Your post was so far beyond my professional
experience to start with that I find myself the student unable to help the
teacher.

> I kick myself for not having spent
>some long, luxurious moments drinking in the warmth of breastfeeding him
>that last time. Instead, I was in this major rush to finish packing, get the
>other kids off, etc... I have been absolutely beside myself with grief over
this loss. No one seems to understand my plight... and it IS a plight.

Well sure it is.  I'd also be devastated to wean at such an early age.   I
hope you are able to continue to pump for the milk plus to keep those mommy
hormones going.

>     The simple fact of the matter is that breastfeeding is NOT just a
>method of feeding. You can NOT replace mothering with the warmth and
>security of the breast. You CAN'T.
>

No, it is a MAJOR loss, with major grieving to deal with.  I'm so sorry it
is not working.  I still hope it will soon.

With best wishes,
-- Carla (just north of Washington, DC)