Nikki writes; She said that she had different expectations of our
relationship, and that she wanted someone more positive and affirming. She
felt that she was doing better until I came along.
   She is still bleeding.
   I am stunned.

Oh, Nikki, I feel for you. You have gone above and beyond to help this mother
and certainly are on target with with your assessment of what may be going
on. This mother is obviously disappointed and you are a convenient target. I
had a mother become irrationally angry at me once when I had to give her the
bad news that her baby, despite what appeared to be a good latch, was not
transferring milk. I was devastated, but finally had to accept that there was
probably nothing I could have done differently except send her home with the
impression that all was well when it wasn't.

And what's with these OB's who can't even entertain the thought that they
might have left some placenta behind? The last situation we dealt with was a
mother of premie twins who indeed did have retained placent and a low supply.
Not until she had a uterine infection would her OB take a look. Please look
at this in the context that you did your very best by this mother and her
reaction probably has more to do with disappointment than anything you did or
didn't do.  And the OB probably reamed her because you suggested retained
placenta. I think when we've gone above and beyond, like you did, it's
especially hurtful to get that reaction.

Kathy Boggs, RN, IBCLC

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