Heleen,

You are forgetting that our culture prizes getting back to "normal"
immediately after birth (pretend you never had a baby - just now carrying
around the bucket).  So women are expected to want sex and have it be easy
and enjoyable as soon as they get the green light from the doc.  The idea
that postpartum women (especially when it can be blamed on breastfeeding)
may not want sex, or be to tired, too worn out, too involved in carrying for
the new baby or the host of normal postpartum issues seems like something
that must be fixed - in mom.

A while back one of the posters here was commenting on being on an e-mail
list of new moms - most of the dads were complaining of lack of bedroom
activity.  When she asked her husband his feelings on the subject he replied
that their husbands weren't doing enough parenting if they had energy to
complain at night.

This is normal from a hormonal stand point (I doubt even bottle feeding moms
are back to pre-pregnancy that soon), and from a practical stand point -
caring for a new baby is tiring.  Luckily we have an OB in town (or two)
that moms have been sent to when their ped told them that breastfeeding was
causing this - "it's just like menopause" - and that they must wean or use
estrogen cream or risk microtears in their vagina during sex.  Since many
new parents don't have time for extra foreplay to make up for the lack of
natural lubrication, they sell extra and most postpartum moms should be told
of this and be prepared (especially to fend off diagnosis such as this).

Just my .02 and one I remind all my CBE students of a couple of times during
class, also stressing that the more dad helps out during the day with
housework & kids the better his chances are.

Felicia Henry
Bradley Instructor
Breastfeeding Support Person
Oxnard, CA

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