Dear Lactnetters,
       I have been asked by a doula/childbirth educator to help her come up
with a good name for a support group she is thinking of forming.  I told her I
am neither creative nor good at being politically correct, so asked her (and
got permission) if I could post the question to all of you.
       Please understand that this is still in the planning stages.  I don't
have all the details, because they all don't even exist yet.  I did try to ask
her some pointed questions to give her things to think about.
       Her first question was what kind of name would get the message across
yet still be politically correct.  After talking more with her, I suggested
that the explanation of whom she wants to support is so long that she might need
to come up with some short cutesy name and then have a purpose and/or mission
statement that explains what the group does.  (Like "La Leche League" all by
itself does not tell you what the organization tries to do.)
       She wants to form a support group for women who originally wanted to
breastfeed but weren't successful.  (Her words.  Please don't flame me for
"successful"--I've already seen the prior discussions here about language.)  I
asked her to define, as in did she just mean moms who couldn't make enough milk?
Or did she also mean moms whose babies couldn't/wouldn't latch, so mom pumped
and fed expressed breastmilk by bottle.  The question surprised her, but upon
consideration she figured they could be open to both sets of women, if the
woman in question did not get to do what she originally planned to do.  She
wants a name that makes it clear the group is NOT intended for mothers who always
planned to use bottles to give formula, which is where I thought she might
need a 2 or 3-word name with a purpose statement.
       She envisions (in her "dream plan", as she calls it) providing support
and healing and education for these women.  She gave an example of helping
moms choose better words that will help them heal.  Her example is not about
breastfeeding, but she wants to help along these lines:  Many moms who needed
emergency C-sections talk about the birth, "I ended up getting a C-section."  She
wants to help them reframe that by teaching them to say "I needed a
C-section.", which puts the situation in a much different light and helps them make
peace with it.  A lady I worked with who just never did make enough milk has
said, "I still sleep with my baby even though I don't breastfeed."  The doula
said, "Don't say that.  There's nothing wrong with sleeping with your baby,
period."  Though to that, I pointed out that it may not be enough to just say,
"Don't say that."  To me, the woman is still screaming sorrow for a lost
breastfeeding relationship, and needs help and/or time to grieve that, rather than being
told just to not say it.  But you get the picture (I hope) of what the doula
is trying to provide.
       So--any ideas from those of you who are much more creative than I am?
       Dee, who is neither creative nor tactful!

Dee Kassing, BS, MLS, IBCLC
Collinsville, Illinois, in central USA

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