Just to make it clear, I have never used shaming.  Nor do I use sticks.

There are times, however, when we do infrequently encounter mothers who are negligent or abusive.  In such circumstances depending upon the laws where we live, we may have an obligation to report negligence and/or abuse.  Sometimes this drastic step can be avoided by a more gentle approach of "comparison".  When mothers are not listening to tips and suggestions and the baby is clearly not thriving, these mothers can sometimes be assisted to recognize that their babies really need to drink more when they are surrounded by other mothers whose babies are gaining well.  This has caused a turnaround for some of the mothers who have been neglecting their babies intake.  Some mothers, however, have entrenched eating disorders and they will hop from one person to the next so they can hear what I call "false reassurance".  "False reassurance", however, heartwarming it may feel to a mother when she initially hears it can become "deep resentment" at a later stage if it turns out that the problem could have been resolved by addressing the reality of the problem in a nonalarmist, but firm manner.  Such an approach must be coupled with realistic suggestions that the mother can actually implement.  If she cannot, the roadblocks to implementation have to be examined.

My pet peeve is that most IBCLCs I know don't shame women and it is always assumed that they do.  Its very annoying.


There are times, however, when sticks really do work and this was proven with NY State and City's antismoking campaign.  They had a good mix of carrots and sticks.  The carrots were antismoking treatment centers.  The protection for nonsmokers was limiting smoker's access to blow it in their faces in public eating establishments (which could be viewed by smokers as sticks).  That approach reduced smoking rates amongst all groups but hispanic men.

The other sticks were taxes and antismoking ads.  The ads were severe - fear mongering and shaming.  Once those ads were added, the smoking rates dropped among hispanic men.  Bear in mind that they had access to antismoking treatment centers in place first.

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