Diane writes,
> These are women who tried and... weren't successful. Are
> "unsuccessful" and "failed" synonyms or are there subtle differences that we
> need to be alert to? Does avoiding the word increase or decrease the
> presumed stigma? Do we *need* the term "failed" so that the healthcare
> system can be really clear about what happened? (They didn't choose
> formula-feeding, they were forced into it.) Or do we *need* to avoid it?
Wow, this is such a BIG issue, I'm not sure there is one word that
encompasses it all. I'm reminded of a Peds listserve I'm on which, for some reason,
whenever breastfeeding comes up, is generally acrimonious no matter how hard
people try (there's that word again) to make it a pleasant exchange. But one of
the docs posted about a breastfeeding failure -- in short, a baby who went to
the doc at 9 days and was admitted into the hospital in extreme dehydration &
weight loss. He was sure this was a breastfeeding failure, until I pointed out
that the baby was 36 weeks, no one had advised the mother to do any insurance
pumping, and the baby was seen for the first time after discharge at 9 days.
So I didn't consider it a breastfeeding (or maternal) failure -- I believed
it was a failure of the medical system to provide adequate teaching and
followup about a very vulnerable infant.
So what does the mother in this think? She failed -- she was a *bad* mother
for not recognizing that her infant was in trouble, and that breastfeeding was
a failure.
What about the woman who tried three times to put the baby to breast, and
when he wouldn't go on easily, quit breastfeeding because bottle feeding was so
much easier? Did that mother fail? Seems to me there is a major difference
between her and the mom that valiently tries EVERYTHING to increase milk supply
to no avail, and finally goes to formula feeding at 2 months.
This is a great topic to discuss -- how can we differentiate between the
"it's just too hard and isn't coming as easily as I expected" to "my body failed
me" to "the medical system screwed up." ???
A diabetic isn't ever talked about as a failure -- though the pancreas fails
to put out appropriate amounts of insulin; yet a mother who tries to
breastfeed and has insufficient mammary tissue "tries and fails." Is it better to have
tried and failed than never to have tried at all?
So -- what is failure? Getting an F in a class comes to mind. My ability to
fix my computer when lightning blasted through our phone wires comes to mind.
But I'm not a computer guru, so I didn't feel as though I was a failure.
What about "failing" at natural childbirth? I was accused, back in the 70's
of setting women up for failue in natural childbirth because I taught Lamaze
classes, and that was increasing their guilt when they simply couldn't do it.
The implication that if you go into birthing with the thought that you're
gonna take medication in the lobby, then you can't fail. And that decreases guilt
because you didn't fail. Is that why some women don't eve 'try' to
breastfeed?
Keep the thoughts coming.....
Jan Barger, RN, MA, IBCLC, RLC
Wheaton, Illinois
www.lactationeducationconsultants.com
***********************************************
To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html
|
