The great majority of women I work with are dealing with the loss of
breastfeeding, and expressing is at least something they can do.
Sometimes temporarily, sometimes not. Some have separation for health
reasons, employment reasons, and even custody reasons. For those moms,
expressing and bottle feding is not their choice, it is the best
option they have at the time.  I do however meet a small number of
women who could breastfeed, and choose not to.  No history to suggest
an emotional 'reason'. It is simple.  The nanny lives in, she does all
the night feedings and mom needs her life back. She prefers pumping
and rarely holds her own baby even to feed a bottle.  I guess for
those babies, I do think, well at least they get breastmilk. They will
need every bit it offers because it will be the only real part of self
the mother gives them.

My own mother's remark when I told her I would be nursing my first
born child 22 years ago was "Well, if you do "that" you will have to
hold it for feedings. I never had to hold you. Why on earth would you
want to do all that work! Surely you will have more to do with your
time than hold a baby.  What a waste of time."  Lovely, huh?
Explained alot. Thank goodness we heal from our motheris by mothering
our own. Of course, it took me seven children. haha.

I don't underetimate the pain of mothers who wanted to breastfeed, or
the struggle of mothers trying to breastfeed, pump, and keep a roof
over their family's heads and food on the table.  Those mothers are
very real.

However, just as real is the other mothers I have met and was raised
by.  The mothers who feel babies needs are an inconvenience and
anything they can do to avoid them, they do.  These babies lived
swaddled in their cribs and carriers and rarely get human touch.  They
have propped bottles or a parade of people doing the feedings while
mom does her own thing.  It is what it is. They dress them up for
holiday cards, like an ornament.  Their children are like a toy,
something cute you dress up and show off when it fits in your day.Is
Medela making this more of a reality?  No.  The reality has been there
all along. Medela just markets to that subset of mothers along with
those who are working, expressing for babies in hospitals, etc.

Is this about the way Medela changed, or how I did not see them for
what they really are and always have been?  That is it!  I feel like a
fool.  Like an idiot for thinking how great it is that they took such
an interest in breastfeeding, in making quality products so mothers
could breastfeed, when all along they never cared about the mother and
the baby.  Just their bottom line.  I feel dirty and used. Yes, that's
it. Betrayal. It's like a good friend who betrays your trust!  But,
you should have known your friend was selfish and would do that
eventually. Still you have that feeling that you must be
misunderstanding...surely you are not being used.

I find it very frustrating that Medela has so little regard for the
community that got them started in the first place.  It makes me angry
that they don't care about the Code. How much profit can there be in
bottles? I do believe it is all about the money, so it makes very
little sense to me that they are willing to stab us in the back so
they can market a bottle that is nothing special at all.  There must
be so much more money in bottles than I realized.  I know it is
nothing personal, but for some reason, I do take it very personaly.
Like a slap in the face and disdain for all we are about coming from a
company we thought was 'on our side'.  Maybe it is just a reailty
check.  No one is on 'our side' if our side is about baby and mother
being together breastfeeding successfully the way the baby expects to
be fed.
Take care,
Pam MazzellaDiBosco, IBCLC, RLC
Florida

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