It's great to read the thread on this topic.

I think it's honest to let others we come in contact with know if we do
regard the bf relationship as central to our motivation - without coming
across as bug-eyed dogmatists, of course.

I usually say something like 'feeding is more than just a way of getting
milk into babies'....and I sometimes say this when talking with a mother
who tells me she has given up and has switched to ABM and she has that mix
of relief and regret.

Hey, the enjoyment of bf shouldn't be regarded as an optional extra!
Heroic stories of how a mother has forced herself to bf  for months and
months for the sake of the baby's physical health even though she hates
every minute of it make me cringe, not cheer, though I recognise the
sacrifice and the dedication involved.

Similarly, the mother who bottle feeds EBM because (for whatever reason)
she cannot bear to bf 'direct' , or needs to know exactly how much her baby
is getting at each feed, is (in my eyes) a tragic figure, though I once
heard such a mother praised because she 'was getting the best of both
worlds'.

Of course, we should let mothers know the health benefits, as well,  and
something of the overwhelming evidence for them.  But we can still convey
the message that bf is such a lovely thing to do...for yourself and for
your baby. Do it, in other words, 'cos when it's going well,  it  makes you
feel good!

Actually, the biggest bf 'crime'  is  (as happens in the UK health system)
telling mothers about the health benefits (which is done here more often
now than ever - good), saying how great breastfeeding is, how wonderful
they are to choose it, how close it brings them to their baby.....and then
totally messing up and possibly destroying  the experience with poor
information and an excess of intervention.

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc Newcastle upon Tyne UK