Thank you, Diane, and others who have written about their own bonding
experiences following birth. My own experiences would take too many pages to
share, but this has given me much food for thought to write it up for myself
after all these years. But what I want to share relates to the correlation
(huge, of course) between human birth and those of other mammals.
I have recently had the pleasure of working with a veterinarian mom and
repeatedly, as appropriate, brought in the mammalian connection to our
conversations re sleeping arrangements, frequent feedings (constant contact species)
and so on. I appealed to her knowledge and familiarity with the world of
animals to make the point that human babies deserve no less than their "cousins."
She got it.
It's the eliciting of empathy and understanding of basic human behavior that
so many moms need, not because they are callous, but because they've been
influenced by our culture that says it's ok to let babies cry it out, sleep
alone, be relegated to buckets that bump harshly against the carrier's legs
making little heads toss back and forth, only to be placed on the floor away from
human contact and the security of mother's arms.
For new moms in particular, what they are familiar with is their recent job
as teacher, social worker, vet, that presents an opportunity to parallel
approaches they used in their work to the job they now have of raising an
infant/child. I've appealed to moms who were social workers to look at emotional
health, teachers, increased intelligence and awareness of environment. These
are easier to use analogies with, but even the business woman can relate to
the need, and opportunity, to slow down and enjoy not having to rush to work.
For the proverbial type A mom who is used to being on the go and highly
organized, I often discuss this mothering time as one in which she can grow and
build on the gentler side of herself. For these moms, too, I hope that
mothering hormones provide some relaxation and slow down mode. I think it really
all goes back to meeting a mother where she is, recognizing her strengths and
what she brings to the table and then helping her to see the world through her
baby's eyes. Alas, sometimes this is harder to do than others, but I can
only hope that our discussions, my modeling in how I relate to and handle her
baby, and offering my unconditional acceptance of mom will make some inroad
into how she parents. This sounds a bit grandiose, but I've seen moms have
that ah-ha moment and I am satisfied with influencing one mom/baby at a time.
And back to connecting humans as mammals, this is a favorite of mine, for it
seems to strike a resonant chord with many. It's really hard to argue with,
too. So, I thank Diane in particular, who has raised my awareness, both in
her posts here and in her lectures, and given me yet another tool to reach
parents and maybe influence how they care for their wee homo sapien.
Barbara Latterner, BSN, RN, IBCLC (who hopes the previous faux pas in
posting is erased with this lengthy musing)
**************Ideas to please picky eaters. Watch video on AOL Living.
(http://living.aol.com/video/how-to-please-your-picky-eater/rachel-campos-duffy/
2050827?NCID=aolcmp00300000002598)
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