This is slightly OT, even though it happened on post partum.  A mother had
lost her first child at about 25 weeks.  The fetus had been dead for some
days before she gave birth (and we managed to take some really excellent
pictures of him in her lap, and she could easily see how beautiful he was).
She got flowers from her family and friends while in the hospital, and said
she felt guilty accepting them, as she didn't deserve them, having not
produced a living child.  I went into my authoritative mode and forbade her
to feel guilty for having friends and family who loved her and wanted to
comfort her - of COURSE she deserved flowers, all the more so because she
didn't have a live baby!
At least in this country, being hospitalized for any reason whatsoever is a
perfectly legitimate reason to receive flowers. Lots of them.  People also
bring flowers the first time they visit the home of a new acquaintance; this
is so consistent that it is very odd when someone doesn't do it - they are
probably a foreigner or just unspeakably poorly raised!  They send flowers
at the drop of a hat.  It is so widespread that staff with pollen allergy
may be severely affected at times, but it would take more than allergies to
stop this flower-giving practice.
Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway

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