I had this problem too- I felt so frustrated and worried- maybe I should have
pushed formula? 2nd baby Indian parents- mom had lots of soreness plus had
been giving 2 4 oz bottles a day "to get a break" infant just kept losing wt
falls asleep on breast- I saw baby early on spent very long time with them
gave lots of hand outs- they kept missing and rescheduling apts b/c didn't
want to bring baby out in the cold ice and snow- I went to their house in the
snow storm w/ my scale! (I got absolutely no appreciation for that) gave lots
of IBCLC cards and even 2 in my area offered FREE c/s! they never called- nor
a LLLL, mom didn't want to pump or use SNS was willing to take fenugreek (not
capsules but to chew the real thing) no other meds- felt infant was nursing
fine and in India its okay to not gain until 1 mo (but thats prob at least a
maintaining and not w/ suppl. and poor latching- or else thats why lots of
babies die and are undernourished) Unless I'm just being paranoid, maybe it
would have been better if I just left these parents alone and saw the baby at
2 wks and 4 wks like most pediatricians? I'm really pushing too hard- these
people transferred and another couple also transferred- I just can't
concientiously say "Okay go ahead give formula your baby will be fine" But
nobody wants to hear otherwise
Amy Kotler MD
Dover Pediatrics
Dover NJ (Morris County)
Quoting laurie wheeler <[log in to unmask]>:

> I have run across a few moms who state the baby is doing ok at breast (when
> I observe that he isn't) and who do not want to be assisted w/ feeds or
> shown a better latch. I don't know how to put this without sounding like I
> know it all and the mother doesn't. I'll give an example: A mother had
> premie twins and she pumped for them for 6-8 wks. Never did bf them. She has
> a new term baby now and the baby is just sleeping at breast. Her nipples are
> red. She believes he is doing fine and does not want to be helped to get a
> good latch and she does not want to try another position besides the cradle
> hold. While it is true this dyad may figure things out just fine, it kinda
> worries me to send such a dyad home. I guess I feel responsible for sending
> them home w/o having effective bf established. I managed to 'convince'
> (gently I hope) the mother to let me help them get a deep latch and finally
> was able to show her nutritive sucking vs just sleeping there. I pointed out
> her red nipples and wanting to prevent further problems and engorgement. But
> I felt like she really didn't want this help and would rather have been left
> alone. How do you all handle such situations?
>
>
> Laurie Wheeler, IBCLC, MN, RN
> New Orleans Louisiana, s.e. USA
>
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