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Subject:
From:
Jennifer Tow <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Thu, 14 Dec 2000 23:45:48 EST
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In a message dated 12/15/0 12:12:29 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:

<<  Every
time she nursed the baby she put pressure on the older child to breastfeed
again.  It was by far the most unhealthy nursing relationship that I had ever
seen. >>

Ah, this is the point I was trying to get to. I think by delineating part of
our relationship with our children as "the nursing relationship", we are
adding to the problem we are seeing in the media. Do we ever refer to the
"artificial-feeding relationship", the "nighttime relationship", the
"playground relationship". Breastfeeding isn't inherently a relationship, but
rather an aspect of a relationship. When I think about relationships between
couples, it seems the same--that we only delineate the sexual aspect of the
relationship as something separate--we do indeed refer to a couple's "sexual
relationship", but not their "parenting relationship" or their "housework
relationship". In a sense, I think we all have sexualized breastfeeding by
talking about it in this way.
    If there is an "unhealthy breastfeeding relationship" between a parent
and child (and certainly a father's coercion away from breastfeeding fits
this bill, as well), then there is plainly an unhealthy relationship between
the parent and child. It is unlikely to express itself in only one aspect of
the relationship. When there is sexual abuse by a parent, it manifests itself
in multiple aspects of the relationship. I tend to suspect that if only bf is
the issue, then it is more likely society's issue than that of the parent and
child.
Jennifer Tow, IBCLC, CT, USA

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