Perhaps I am way off but... reflux issues aside...

I would be seriously wondering if this was an Ezzo family.  Saying one
thing doing another, wanting information on how to fix the problem they see
but then not doing it (feeding the baby!).  I don't know, I see a family
trying to schedule a baby (the pacifier, the arbitrary decision of when the
feeding was over, the deciding it was time to space out feeds) who should
not be on a schedule and not admitting it and to me that sets off Ezzo
warning bells or at the very least someone who's read Babywise a bit too
intensely.

I personally dealt with this scenario last week.  A mom called me because
her sister is my dh's coworker and he's always talking about how I am
breastfeeding (it's really rare here at my baby's age, 7 months).  So she
tells me her baby is skinny not big and chubby like her first baby who was
bottlefed.  But she breastfeeds this baby because they want the $50 a month
from the govt. for breastfeeding.  Ok I can work with this.

I listen to her tell me about what she thinks is wrong (he's skinny) and it
seems she'd like to just sit around with some other moms.  So since LLL
isn't for another couple weeks I ask her if she'd like me to come over with
my kids and we'll sit around and chat.  She's all smiles and says she won't
go to LLL anyway because she doesn't think they know what they're talking
about (?!?!) so I just let it roll and go on over.  She tells me to come
over at ten because that's when his first feeding is that she'd be awake
enough to have visitors over for (?!?!).

When I get there I nurse my baby who must be nursed before and after each
car ride and preferably during if someone else is driving ;-)  She nurses
her baby, watching the clock the ENTIRE time, pops him off after 5 minutes
(to his dismay) inserts a pacifer (which he doesn't like) and shhhs him
telling him "you can have some more at 2!"  He's 4 months old.  Anytime he
cries in the mean time she inserts pacifier, pops him in the swing, jiggles
him, and at noon sticks him in his crib to be ferbered.  uhhhh I was way
uncomfortable with this scenario and my 2.5 yr old was horrified no one was
picking up the baby so I said we had to go eat lunch at our house because
of his special dietary needs (lie but I couldn't let him listen to that, it
was giving him all the wrong ideas).

So in the mean time she tells me all about his green poops, how he only
gains maybe 4-6 ounces a week, how he's so fussy, and finally she says she
thinks he is just stubborn because everything was fine when she was letting
him "rule the roost" and nursing him "every ninety minutes or so can you
believe that?!"  Oh boy.

So I try to explain the dangers of scheduling in a very non-confrontational
way, I show her parts of the BAB relating to this, She then goes into great
detail about how the whole concept of 'demand feeding' is opposite of her
parenting beliefs and how she doesn't know how to reconcile the two.  I
leave my opinions about said parenting beliefs totally out of it, and just
tell her to feed the baby when he asks and see if just that helps.  I try
really hard to stick to the subject of "feed the baby" because she keeps
dragging it off and I think if I can keep it simple and about *food* then
she will get it more.  She seems happy she has 'permission' to feed the
baby whenever and only hold it when it eats =( but anyway... I also plant
the idea that if she lets him decide when the feeding is over perhaps he
will not want to eat as soon (it's an idea...)

She calls me a couple days later and tells me his poops are back to yellow.
 Yay.  It's a start.  She also reports he's more content to go down for
swing time or exersaucer time or crib time.  I remind myself she only
called for breastfeeding advice and bite my tongue off.

-Wendey (studying LC in the burbs of Montreal)

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