I suspect most women faced with "requests" to hide their breastfeeding are
simply too embarrassed to question or to assert their rights. I also
suspect they do a lot less breastfeeding in public because of these social
barriers, some of which are real and some of which are probably only
perceived, but perceived or not, they are still barriers. I was never one
not to do just as I pleased when I breastfed my kids, in public or
otherwise, but not every woman has the social support or confidence to do
that.
On this subject I can do no better than quote a few posters from the past --
Katherine Dettwyler, from May 96 (you might have to cut and paste these URLs
in two bits to make them work):
http://peach.ease.lsoft.com/scripts/wa.exeA2=ind9605D&L=lactnet&P=R5799&I=-3
"In my humble opinion (as always) we have to take the stance that breasts
are perfectly normal, standard body parts, designed for feeding babies. The
more people are "exposed" to breasts in this context, the more it will come
to seem perfectly normal and natural to them, and breasts will lose their
artificial, sexual connotations. If we continue to act as though breasts
*are* primarily sex objects, to be kept hidden and out of sight except when
absolutely necessary for feeding a baby (or for use in selling beer or cars
or sex), then we'll never see the day when breastfeeding is accepted as
normal and natural, and many women will never be able to feel comfortable
nursing in public."
Dettwyler, November 97:
http://peach.ease.lsoft.com/scripts/wa.exe?A2=ind9711C&L=lactnet&P=R1591&I=-
3&m=38957
"When women stop being discreet about breastfeeding, then society
will change, and disgust/over-nosiness about breastfeeding will be a thing
of the past."
Dettwyler, July 2000:
http://peach.ease.lsoft.com/scripts/wa.exe?A2=ind0007A&L=lactnet&P=R10807&I=
-3&m=86117
" . . .caring more about the
feelings of those who are offended by something natural and good than about
the person who is doing the natural and good thing is the same, logically,
as caring more about the feelings of people who are racist or sexist or who
think handicapped people should be hidden away."
Diane Mulonas, May 96:
(http://peach.ease.lsoft.com/scripts/wa.exe?A2=ind9605D&L=lactnet&P=R6332&I=
-3
"I believe the only way to change how people view breastfeeding is to change
how society sees breasts."
Mary Broadfoot, May 96:
http://peach.ease.lsoft.com/scripts/wa.exe?A2=ind9605E&L=lactnet&P=R4401&I=-
3
". . . if you start to talk in terms of not objecting if 'a woman's breast
is exposed briefly or to the extent it needs to be exposed to feed the
child' you are making life difficult or impossible for women. What was
necessary for me when I was feeding my baby is DIFFERENT to what
was necessary when I was feeding my toddler, and was DIFFERENT
to what was necessary for my friend, and even more so for my friend
who nursed her twins simultaneously, and didn't have time or the
inclination (and why should she?) to feed them one at a time. if you
make permission to breastfeed in public conditional, no matter how
noble your reasons, you will give women worry ('Am I showing too
much?' 'Is it all right here?'), and give ammunition to those who just
don't like breastfeeding ('I was offended' - 'She didn't need to show
THAT much').
Breastfeeding is too important for mother and child to allow our
sensitivities to interfere. I am working to make breastfeeding a
NORMAL and UNEXCEPTIONAL experience, and I live in hope that
we will reach the stage where no mother will keep bottles and abm in
the house for trips out IN CASE SHE OFFENDS ANYONE BY
BREASTFEEDING HER BABY.
We are adults, surely we can put the children's needs and rights first.
And if we all went out and were so discrete, then no-one would know
what we were doing, and if no-one ever sees breastfeeding, how can
it ever be normal?"
Well said, good women! In the next post, I'll talk more about my personal
story and what a group of breastfeeding moms did about it.
Barb Strange
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