Lara responds to a post in which a negative reaction to seeing bottles in
public was expressed.  I just read through 6 digests after being away from
my computer for about 15 hours and would like to emphasize Lara's message.
At the same time I have no doubt that Winnie exhibits the best of manners
whenever and wherever she interacts with mothers of young children!  But a
flip remark can often reveal an issue that is all too serious, which is why
I agree with Lara that we need to sharpen our awareness of how our own
reactions can affect others.

Unless you have spoken with the person using a bottle to feed a baby, you
don't know what is in it or the reason for its use.  In the culture in which
I live, women feel seriously stigmatized when bottle feeding in public,
whereas most think nothing of breastfeeding anywhere at all.  It doesn't
help any one individual, nor the cause of improving maternal/infant health,
for people to feel they are being judged and found wanting, and it is
especially unfortunate when we make someone feel judged although we lack the
necessary info to draw a conclusion at all, and in fact have not been
invited by the person to offer our opinion, verbally or non-verbally.  To do
so is rude.

Also, if the contents of the bottle are freshly expressed breastmilk, then
it really isn't a problem for it to be used over a period of hours, even
without refrigeration.  And if we don't know what the contents of the bottle
are, then we should be making every effort to refrain from showing our
private, personal reaction.  

I must admit it is nearly impossible for me to keep my mouth shut if I see
someone pouring a sweetened carbonated beverage into an infant feeding
bottle and giving it to a child; that, IMO, has nothing to do with infant
feeding.  But when I see someone giving a bottle of milk to a baby, I remind
myself that I don't know their story.  If I try to empathize with the
parents as fellow human beings, sometimes I am privileged to hear the
background for the bottle, and I can learn from it so I can be of better
help to another woman in the future.  I live in a small community where I
have worked actively with breastfeeding mothers for over 15 years and am
well known, so I feel it is especially incumbent upon me to be a worthy
representative of my 'species' (lactivist!) and part of that is to treat
every person I meet with the respect that is their right as humans.

Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway

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