Beth suggested:

<<  those who work with survivors
 are more and more agreeing that the woman should be in charge of
 revealing that information.  >>

As one who does a small amount of work with survivors, I disagree.  While the
idea of empowering her through putting her "in charge" is a good one, the
fact is that for some women (maybe not all), past attempts to reveal may have
been met with resistance at best, punishment at worse.  Therefore, they have
learned that it's not safe to tell.  Secrecy is a fertile breeding ground for
shame, which then leads to more secrets and so on.

While it might not be safe with a give LC either, I would contend that the
vast majority have both the empathy and the understanding of women's sexual
issues such that she might be just the person to share the story with.  By
asking the question, she is making it clear that she is interested and that
there won't be recriminations to the client if she tells.  Her unconditional
continuing acceptance of the client through her helping relationship may be a
first healing step and experience.  Of course ready referrals are a must,
just as they are with any situation that is beyond the scope of practice.

Nancy Williams

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