"Discretion is not just covering up. It is remembering that you are a
breastfeeding mom. Think about the time...Do I have time to go out to eat at
Applebee's? Will my friends or family have to wait an extra half hour while
I feed the baby in the restaurant? Is that realistic? Am I thinking about
where I will be when my baby will likely be hungry?"


In our large extended family, my grandmother enjoyed the adoration of not
only her children and grandchildren, but according to my aunt, her
daughters- and sons-in-law as well. Words cannot express how special she was
to all of us.

My grandmother had no teeth, but if anyone had ever suggested not taking her
with us anywhere because she would take longer to eat, or because it would
not be discreet to expose her (perfectly fine but different) method of
eating to strangers, we would have been absolutely outraged. No one thought
of her as a burden, at mealtimes or otherwise. She was our jewel, our family
treasure. If we made allowances for her physical limitations, they were done
gladly and without embarrassment. We did not try to hide her, or ever feel
embarrassed about her toothless condition.

If we can do that for our beloved elders, how much easier it is to include
our babies, for whom the appropriate food and method of feeding is always
ready and available? The concept of feeling embarrassed about the most
reasonable method of feeding must be dropped right now. 

"Discretion" is a non-problem, a made-up construct. Worrying about a made-up
problem is a waste of our time here on earth and squanders our moral
resources.

Let us feel embarrassed instead about the children who have no health care,
or insufficient nutritious food, or unsafe living conditions, and focus our
energies on solving those very real problems instead.

Arly Helm, MS, IBCLC

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