I feel as if my comments have been taken out of context and misused. I
can't decide if I should respond with specific examples of this or
not, but I feel compelled to defend myself. Here is what I have been
paraphrased as saying:

> someone said that to lay on mother AP style parenting practices as part of the breastfeeding practice would be too much for mother to cope with....>

Here is what I actually said:

>I also believe that presenting breastfeeding as a package deal with AP
can be overwhelming and off-putting for many people. If people think
co-sleeping and babywearing are part of the breastfeeding package, I
think more people would choose to not even go down that path in the
first place. I find that just talking about breastfeeding and the
importance of listening to baby's cues and your own instincts
naturally leads many mothers to AP in the long run.>

>I also want to clarify that I, personally, did practice AP with two
out of three of my infants. I believe in it deeply. I do promote it
and advocate for it. I do believe constant physical contact with his
mother is a baby's birthright. That being said, I will help anyone who
wants to breastfeed their children regardless of their interest in
practicing AP>

I guess I believe that supporting a mother in breastfeeding is by
default advocating for the baby. As I said, I believe (unequivocally)
that it is a baby's birthright to be in constant physical contact with
his mother. But how many first-time, type A moms have you met who can
accept that unconditionally? Maybe you live in a different culture
than I do, but in my world, that would not be met favorably.

It's fabulous to have all this passion and philosophical zeal (believe
it or not, I do too), but if you actually want to encourage moms to
breastfeed their babies and help the greatest number be successful in
that endeavor ...well, I believe you have to meet them where they're
at. Or they won't ask you for help.

I think this will be my last word on the matter.

Gina
www.safepassagebirth.com




On Sun, Oct 5, 2008 at 1:30 PM, g raphael <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> someone said that to lay on mother AP style parenting practices as part of the breastfeeding practice would be too much for mother to cope with....
>
> I guess one has to ask themselves if they're advocating for the baby or for the mother.???
>
> I do NOT introduce slings to the mothers as attachment-promoting devices (to promote a parenting style vs another one) i tell them that a newborn has been designed to need the mother's physical closeness 24 hours a day... this is not a personality quirk BUT a biological need... yes, slings are only ONE way to meet this need....  put this way, i have very few mothers look at the sling as the hippy choice... they see it simply as a way to cope with an infant who needs her arms and breasts 24hours a day in her isolated world of no other help around...  it is NOT a lifestyle choice... and i wish people wouldn't pretend that it was.... co-sleeping is not a life style choice... it is a way in which mother can stay close to her infant to regulate infant's heartbeat, body temperature, breathing and access to life-SUSTAINING food source and still get some sleep.  if we look at it from a baby's perspective than these practices are not about whether it fits in with
>  a mother's lifestyle but a way for mother to cope with the imperative needs of her infant.
>
> these practices should be lifestyle-neutral as much as we promote breastfeeding as lifestyle-neutral...
>
> plastic bucket vs mothers arms/sling is as moot as bottle vs breast ...
>
> we can say that all babies are different ..but there are some basic biological needs that cannot be ignored.. and if a mother of a 3 week old tells me that her baby prefers to sleep in a cot in her own room, i think that the mother is missing some cues... or baby is unable to communicate needs to mother for some other reason.  but also, there's enough evidence to suggest that babies/children are very good at sublimating these needs when they've been ignored often enough so for a mother to say that her newborn doesn't like to be in arms i have to wonder... and possibly even CHALLENGE....
>
> babies are adapters,, some  better than others.. i can always tell a detached baby on an airplane.. they're the ones that can't fall asleep, can't get comfortable in mother's arms, can't bear to be touched for so long... is this baby's personality... ? OR has baby just adapted to mother's lifestyle?  has this baby been emotionally and socially compromised by mother's choices?  ? and who is there to protect baby from these health-compromising choices?
>
> i have a girlfriend that said that her 10 month old no longer wanted to breastfeed during the day and was only nursing in the morning and before bedtime... i spent the day with her and i'll tell you .. she missed about several cues throughout the day that her baby wanted to nurse... and she instead responded with weaning strategies: offering food, distraction, rocking, stroller-riding, etc... baby happily complied.... but was need met... ?  he didn't fuss... but do we know the long-term consequences of her ignoring his cues?
>
> i advocate for the baby first and foremost and (to steal the words from another great LACNETTER) mother can always choose to refuse....
>
> passionately,
> georgia
>
>
>
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