I still love my dentist even though I had to have a crown replaced for last molar.  She tried to use visualization exercises while they were taking the mold, but I have to admit I was thinking that the deep breathing I was doing while trying not to gag would be helpful if I were ever captured by terrorists and they tried to water board me.  After that vision started to fail in my efforts to suppress the gag, I worked on the thought of how I would escape if I were caught in a mudslide and mud was filling my mouth.  I can't tell you how gentle she was and how much praise I received for managing not to gag. 

This week was the reward of the crown itself.  She worked like a maestro fitting the crown.  Usually I find they fit right away, but this time it wasn't quite right.  She and her assistant talked about how it was important to get it exactly right and that even a micron off could make a difference.  They always made sure that there was not the least bit of grit on the tooth before seating the crown because one tiny speck could throw it all off.  She was very patient with me because this time it took many attempts to get it too feel right.  She never rushed me and she was determined to continue until it felt perfect because she knew that if it was off it would throw off my bite and cause other structural issue. 

So, it got me thinking about one of those "guides" that supposedly tell you if the latch is right and what bothered me about it.  The guide was all about VISUAL generalities.  Observing whether this part or that part was in the "right spot".  It dawned on me that by observing one of my mentors far longer than even the IBLCE requires now -- with no formal verbal instructions from her -- I had absorbed a very important lesson.  She NEVER started from the handout we had for how to latch.  She by letting the mother do what she normally did.  She observed and asked how it felt to the mom.  Then it was a series of gentle touches and adjustments LISTENING to the mother and WATCHING HER FACIAL EXPRESSIONS.  If it didn't feel good doing it the way the "handout" said, she helped the mother do it HER way.

Much of the work was also getting the mother comfortable from the start.  That always is my first priority.  These latch guides do not start there at all. It is purely about the baby.

So, also in thinking about the Whoopi Goldberg negativity -- I think sometimes if we don't get the one babe comfortable -- mom -- it is hard to get the other babe comfortable.  An uncomfortable mom is not doing to be at her best for helper her baby.  After the birth so much more attention is being placed on the baby and of course mothers love their babies, but the mother is also adapting as well.

I often tell mothers that this is like being on the airplane -- if the oxygen mask drops you have to put it on yourself first so that you have enough oxygen to be able to put the oxygen mask on your baby before you pass out.

Best, Susan Burger

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