>>With all due respect, Melinda, not all moms want to stay home with their
>>babies, even if they are breastfeeding. And the reality is that most
can't.
>>The worse part of it is that if you chose not to, or can't, people give
you
>>the "oh you poor dear" attitude. It is  very"patronizing" Annie Furie
>
>I realize you are probably starting a flaming war but I disagree with your
>use of the word "cant". Most women chose not to stay home.



Well, not sure if I should partake in this discussion as I have very strong
feelings about this issue, but I agree with Rachael. Having been a working
mom for a short time and non working mom I feel it is a choice except for
those relative few Rachael mentions. Where there is a will there is a way.
If more moms really wanted to stay home then they would find a way.

With much contemplation on this I find that many moms say they cannot stay
home as sort of a defense, like people will understand their working and not
condemn them for staying home. Imagine the response if moms honestly said "I
would rather be away from my baby 40 hours a week than at hom with him or
her."  Kind of an escape to reality the way I see it.

Just like bottlefeeding it IS a choice. When we want things bad enough in
life we find a way.

But, overall, I think our society is expert at covering up the truth and not
facing reality head-on. Children need their parents, so if mom can work
while dad is home, what a much better option. I think we are already see the
results of too many children in day care. Why do we want someone else
raising our children? I really want to know the answer. I have been thinking
about this a lot lately with the recent tragedy in Colorado.

Patti
(work-at-home mother of three, nursing mother of 18-mo twins and aspiring LC
in Wisconsin)

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