Even before Michelle asked for helpful resources for a client in marital
difficulties, I wanted to recommend to this list the book "Marriage in
Motion: The Natural Ebb and Flow of Lasting Relationships" by Jacqueline
Olds and Richard Schwartz.  Of course, marital counseling is way beyond
the LC's duties, but this insightful book might help her better
understand all the different stresses a client may be facing.

The book, which is nicely conversational and full of anecdotes, points
out our romantic, and almost unconscious, assumption that true love and
true marriage is unchanging and constant.  Thus any change is cause for
panic, doubt and revisionism ("Maybe this was never 'true' to start
with!")  And the downward spiral is hard to break, since the guilty
parties tend to look for more justification that things are undeniably
bad.

The authors point out that the healthy marriages are more "tidal," with
times of growing distance and distraction, followed by a coming
together.  This is not to encourage any complacency about a drift apart
-- the good relationship's "distance alarms" are designed to re-focus
the couple's attention.

Just to make this more on-topic, the authors also make the point that a
shared project, like a baby, can be a wonderful coming-together point
for a couple, and there are several positive references to breastfeeding
scattered in the text (including a rather startling, off-hand remark
about one friend wet-nursing another's baby.)

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