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From:
Rachel Myr <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Tue, 30 Aug 2011 22:59:54 +0200
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Caroline Gallear asks whether anyone has "a maximum time they are happy with
before a newborn first
takes the breast?"
Hmm.  I'm happiest if baby stays undisturbed in mother's arms until it
happens, and it's really nice if it's within the first couple of hours
when mother and baby are generally relaxing after birth and before all the
bureaucratic stuff like weighing, measuring, showering of mother and moving
to postpartum happens.
And it's very reassuring if it happens before they go home from the
hospital, if that's where the baby was born. Also more practical.
However, in almost 23 years of working with newborn babies, I've never seen
a baby who cared about what made me happy and I've also never seen a baby
who started to feed under pressure before it was ready.
Therefore, I have decided to concentrate on what things I am happy to do
while we wait for the baby to be ready.
1 - keep mother and baby in physical contact for as much of the day and
night as humanly possible and keep both of them emotionally safe and
physically comfortable
2 - have a friendly, relaxed talk with mother and her sig.others about what
the plan is - namely, to let baby's reflexes and instincts be elicited so
that feeding begins when baby is ready, and keep everyone else off the
baby's back in the meantime
3 - explain why using a pump before the milk has started to leak and drip
easily, is a waste of effort while manual expression is a really good idea
4 - make sure mother learns how to express from her breasts by hand and that
she can do it frequently, and let the colostrum/milk drip straight onto
baby's lips or collect it in a cup to be fed to the baby as it is expressed
5 - observe baby and investigate any signs of ill health (fever, abnormal
skin color, breathing difficulties) and if someone starts making noises
about giving the baby anything in addition to what mother is expressing,
check blood glucose

Let me add I am very UNhappy if staff persist in trying to convince the baby
to take the breast into its mouth by pushing it towards the breast, trying
to open its lips and stuff the nipple in, disturbing it when it is clearly
saying 'go away and let me be', etc etc.  And I can't STAND it if people
start scaring the mother half to death with all the dire consequences of not
taking in any colostrum (brain damage from low blood sugar or from jaundice
being the main spectres raised in this situation).

I am *always* happy when a baby takes the breast for the first time,
whenever it happens.  This summer I worked with four mothers whose babies
had four very different reasons for not taking the breast into their mouths
continually from the start.  All of them finally figured it out when they
were about two and a half months old and I can't remember last time I was so
happy!  Apropos the posts about helping daughters and daughters-in-law I
have to say that I felt like an auxiliary grandmother to all these babies
(and auxiliary mother to their mums) by the time they figured it out.  The
last several weeks, I was on vacation and they were all working on it on
their own and staying in touch by text message or e-mail, so I imagine they
were pretty clear about who it was who was doing the nitty-gritty work, but
they all did keep in touch and seemed to appreciate having someone to send
updates to, esp when they wanted help with trouble-shooting.  I know I
posted about my daughter's breastfeeding saga in mid-March, but I didn't
really go into detail about how our collaboration worked, or how she used me
as a consultant.  Suffice it to say I never felt that she was uninterested
in having my help; far from it - but if she disagreed with me she stood up
to me and I had to either do some high-level explaining or admit she had a
point.  We both learned a lot, about breastfeeding and about mothers and
daughters, we are closer than we've ever been before, granddaughter was
exclusively breastfed until 6 months, and my daughter is well on her way to
becoming a mother-to-mother counselor, so I think it's safe to say it went
well.  Of course I am not assuming I would be able to tell such a happy
story about a daughter-in-law, should the occasion present itself.  It's
different when you're the MIL, of course, though I know plenty of
daughters-in-law who've been happy to make use of their MILs breastfeeding
expertise too.

This post sure got long - what happened?!
Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway

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