Cynthia writes:

"It is  exactly the paradigm of "controlling" and "making" that is inherent 
in Western  and Westernized cultures  (rather than the paradigm of  
"facilitating") that adds to the grief of a mother who faces--and/or  whose baby 
faces-- extraordinary challenges in the building of the  breastfeeding 
relationship."
~~~ Hello all,
 
Cynthia shares a heartfelt and important perspective. Coming from a PT  
background, having worked with burn survivors ( many of whom were burned as  
abuse not accidentally,) stroke and amputation survivors, etc. the "how do we  
get as close to normal as possible in these new and specific circumstances" 
is a  focal point. One of our US problems is we still don't see a baby 
breastfeeding  as normal, it's something great with lots of nice benefits, but 
if you can't do  it, no big deal. For those moms who make the perceptual 
shift that it's a normal  human activity of critical import, their journey is 
even harder. ( And I  still think it's hard for many moms, even though they 
don't consciously  acknowledge the journey through loss, as well.)  I agree 
with Cynthia, and  I think part of what we do is also hear the mother and help 
her move through the  path that may include both grief and surrender, even 
as she works so hard over  sometimes a very long time. Although it 
technically had little to do with this  work, I had to take a Bereavement Ministry 
series over the Winter for another  certification I maintain. I found it both 
challenging and very helpful. Walking  the line between working through and 
surrendering is a razor's edge - a  tricky and often frustrating and painful 
place to be. Thanks to Cynthia for  bringing in an experience on that edge. 
 
Peace,
Judy
 
Judy LeVan  Fram, PT, IBCLC, LLLL
Brooklyn, NY,  USA
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