This sort of conversation would have hurt me also. I just want to point out that this might just be a 'normal' child behavior in wanting space from a parent. I know in my years of figuring out who I am, I had to push away from my parents in ways that seemed very hurtful to them. (i.e. my mom is a public school teacher, and I wanted to homeschool). At the time, I wish we had both realized that I was just trying figure my own path out.
Melissa
-----Original Message-----
From: Lactation Information and Discussion [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Darillyn Starr
Sent: Wednesday, May 02, 2012 9:58 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Breastfeeding not an appropriate meal-time subject!
I need a shoulder to cry on, as well as some information. 21 years ago, I adopted a 9 pound six month old girl, who had been born with a diaphragmatic hernia, and spent most of her life in the hospital. She was fed mostly through a gastrostomy, was severely developmentally delayed, and antisocial. She showed very obvious signs of reactive attachment disorder. I knew she was in danger of growing up seriously handicapped, physically, socially, mentally, and emotionally, if I didn't give her the best I possibly could.
When I got her, the only sucking she did was a few minutes a day at a bottle full of Pregestimil, with a premie nipple, which flowed way too fast for her, and frequently gagged her. Getting her nursing was a process that took five months and a great deal of patience and creativity, but we got there, and it made a huge difference in her. That baby we were told would not be normal grew up to be a very intelligent and talented young lady.
She moved to California a few months ago, to be with her boyfriend. I went to meet him, last week. One day, we were having lunch at a restaurant. They had just told me that they hoped to adopt a baby one day. I asked her if she was going to breastfeed. I told her boyfriend that I had breastfed her and that she had nursed until she was a little over two years old. Later, my daughter informed me that I had greatly offended him by speaking of breastfeeding. She said that it was an inappropriate thing to speak about in a restaurant and that her boyfriend also thought that the people at the table next to us might have heard me and been offended, too. She said (obviously parroting him) that it was a subject that should only be spoken of privately, not in public. You would think I'd been loudly talking about some deviant sex act or something!
I spent the next few hours holding back tears and I still feel horrible about it. I tried to explain to her that it is the law that women are entitled to actually breastfeed their babies in public, without being harassed, and that I had never heard of anyone saying that it was inappropriate just to talk about it, anywhere.
Can someone tell me what the law in Calfornia says, specifically? I want to get along with this guy, since my daughter is determined to be with him, but I think I need to stand up for myself, and breastfeeding, too. I am sure it comes from the fact that he is 100% ignorant about the whole topic, but I don't think I should have to let him stay that way! I think being able to show him the law might give it more weight, rather than being just my opinion, which he apparently doesn't respect.
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