I have always used frequent, on cue feeding for comforting my children. It
has felt right to me...especially with my second and third. However,  I do
recall with my first child, 11 yrs ago, I was told not to nurse more than
every 2 hours..ever. Then, when I had my baby asking to nurse , as that was
the thing she wanted most, and this occurred every 1 hour sometimes, I felt
incredibly abandoned..and overworked, and burdened. I was DAMNED  if I did
nurse on cue, cause then I wasn't being a good patient, and wasn't following
*doctor's/nurses'* advice. But if I didn't nurse frequently, Emily let me
know in no uncertain terms that she was not comfortable. I would hand my
husband  the paper I had written Emily's frequent nursings on..when he
walked in the door at 6 pm. ....trying to showhim how difficult things felt
to me. I could take care of 6 SICK kids in the hospital setting, but give me
one normal easy infant, and I thought I was losing it.  As Jan B. says, I am
still smacking from hurts dealt out to me at the time of my first child's
birth.  My pediatrician told me to ignore her for 15 minutes, and to put her
on top of the dryer, as the vibration would keep her quiet and happy. NOT.
I feel that as a new mother, I had no experience with normal breastfeeding
behaviors. Babies nurse sometimes frequently, sometimes not...dependng on hw
they feel. How many of us eat the SAME thing every day? I certainly don't.

So, it was a * lose lose*  situation..and in many ways, I feel that the
health care system,  in all their ridiculous glory, served me badly. I was a
new mom, no family around, and I used to write down the times of day she
would nurse, as if it were some incredible burden to nurse frequently. My
biggest enemy,  was not nursing on cue..or comforting my daughter at breast,
it was ISOLATION...and feeling wrong for listening to my baby's cues. I was
told NOT to listen. What a betrayal of a mother's confidence in her own
mothering abilities. What a bunch of BUNK.  YES it is hard to nurse a lot.
YES it is tough getting no sleep..having a tired cranky baby. YES it is
lonely being alone at home in Vermont, with no other mothers home around
you. MOTHERING is a difficult job ...especially in our culture.  I thank LLL
for supporting me and my family as we travel our path of parenting.

Laura, I hear what you are saying...you must do as you feel best..and I wish
you well..and am glad that you have found a way that works for you..... in
many cases, it is our perceptions that rule us...When I read your notes, I
remember how I felt...as a new mom.  I thought my baby was taking advantage
of me  by asking for so much. I wasn't listening to what she was giving in
return...Listening and meeting needs is a tough job...and there are some
days I might rather  do something else rather than whatever it is that is
required of me..ie stay home with a sick child, etc.be up all day with my 3
year old after having been up all night....like today.. ...anyway, I am
rambling....I  was up all night helping my friend give birth...I wish
everyone peace....

Tiredlly , Kathleen
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Kathleen B. Bruce, BSN, IBCLC, LLL Leader (7 yrs),
Co-Owner Lactnet,  E-Mail = [log in to unmask]
LACTNET WWW site: http://www.mcs.com/~auerbach/lactation.html
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