At 01:37 PM 9/10/96 -0500, you wrote:
>I'd appreciate any words of advice/wisdom

Katherine,  I don't have wisdom but I do have a gut feeling.  I'd just offer
your sympathy.  Just make the first move, write or call him, ASAP.  His
isolation must be terrible.

The loss of breastmilk is only one part of the overall tragedy.  I agree
that bringing it up by mail first will ease the first face to face meeting.
Simply offer sympathy for this loss as well as all the other components of
loss his family has suffered.  Acknowledge this too is a loss, among the many.

I think ignoring the issue, not speaking about the loss of breastfeeding,
would be worse.   He knows the value of breastfeeding, just as he knew the
value of his living spouse.  He and his family have suffered tremendous
losses.  Speaking about it probably won't be taken as a reprimand,
especially from someone as sensitive as you,  it will probably be a relief
for him.

So sad,
Carla