Celine,
It can be very challenging to be "hands off".
You are really mastering it already. Your statement: "When I get my hands in
there, I see mom's confidence go down, I see her disappointment with not
being able to get her baby on the breast herself and I feel sooooooooooooo bad"
really says it all. You are shifting your focus from "fixing" to "empowering".
And, you can see the difference it makes in the mothers. Great Job!
I was really blessed to receive some excellent training in listening to moms
from La Leche League. This training REALLY helped me feel more comfortable
hearing and affirming mothers. It also helps me realize that I am making a
difference - even when it appears to others that I am not doing anything (wink).
Mothers who are heard and affirmed also get a big confidence and self-esteem
boost that can make all the difference in a "hands off" teaching and
empowering environment.
You can contact a La Leche League Group near you and ask for information on
their Communication Skills Workshops, it may really help you, too.
In fact, you might be able to get a LLL Leader to come to the hospital and
provide this training to all direct-patient-care staff.
I can promise you the mother's know the difference, and they like it :)
Laura Wright
Mississippi
In a message dated 6/22/2007 9:12:17 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
Date: Fri, 22 Jun 2007 22:11:14 -0400
From: Celine Cormier <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Deleama LC vs RN
Hello everyone!
hope everyone is having a great weekend so far!
I have a bit of a delema. I keep facing it every week when I go to work =
and
it kills me. I have been an RN working with breastfeeding moms for the p=
ast
9 years. Helping breastfeeding moms has always been a passion for me. I=
wasn't any good at it at first but with the years, practice and the "tric=
ks
of the trade", I managed to gain a lot of skills and have been able to he=
lp
a lot of moms. Thing is, as an RN, I have always been thought to fix any=
problems, no matter how, just fix it. So if a baby wasn't feeding at the=
breast or if a mom was having trouble getting that baby to latch, I did
everything and anything I could to get that baby on that breast. Almost
every time, that meant me putting that baby to the breast. I was always
proud and satisfied when I managed to get that baby on, especially when n=
o
one else was able to.
Since becoming and LC last year, that all changed. My focus is no longer=
getting those babies on the breasts or getting those moms to breastfeed a=
t
all cost. It is now to TEACH those moms to get their babies on to the
breast. I love teaching and talking with moms but when I try to help, th=
at
is when it gets tricky. Trouble is that I feel like I do a lot of talkin=
g
and coatching and when I see moms struggling with positioning or I see th=
ose
babies so eager to get on but moms having trouble latching them on, the R=
N
in me comes out. I find myself wanting to take over because I feel like
they will never get it right or that by the time they do, the babies will=
give up and fall asleep or tune out. When I get my hands in there, I see=
mom's confidence go down, I see her disappointment with not being able to=
get her baby on the breast herself and I feel sooooooooooooo bad. I give=
lots of positive reinforcement, I do lots of teaching and give lots of
encouragement but when I can't "fix" a breastfeeding couple that is
struggling, I feel disappointed in myself and I feel like I let them down=
.
I feel like everyone at work expects me to be a miracle worker because I
have the IBCLC initials by my name. I also feel like I am no more qualif=
ied
than anyone else if I can't fix a problem. I no longer have that proud
feeling or that feeling of accomplishment I use to.
I mean there are days when I have coworkers asking for help and patients
appreciating my help and moms that do manage to get it right with my help=
but it is the days I can't help that makes me feel so bad. Do any of you=
have those days? How do you cope with them? Do you guys have any tricks=
?=20
I mean, I know we LC are not miracle workers and that we can't fix
everything. That our role is not to fix every problem but to support,
inform, help and refer as needed.
Does it get better with time? Am I just feeling this way because I am ne=
w
at this and not yet comfortable with my role?
Thanks for any insyte you guys can offer. I really appreciate it! Sorry=
this is so long.
Celine Cormier, RN, BN, IBCLC
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