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Subject:
From:
"D. McCallister" <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Tue, 10 Sep 2002 00:10:18 +0100
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I'd like to say to both Andrea and the larger world of Lactnet:

I've been a long-term non-professional lurker on Lactnet.  I once dreamed of becoming a lactation
consultant, but realistically that's not going to happen.  However,  I still enjoy reading up on
the subject, and have a certain reputation among my friends (and even some friends of friends I've
never even met)  for providing triage on basic breastfeeding problems, either passing along
information from my own experience, or from this list, or encouraging women to call on a
professional for intervention.  I have no official role -- but my lay role, mom-to-mom, has been
very rewarding for me!

Mostly, I read the list mail.  I have posted in the past.  And yes, I have run into situations
where my viewpoint was disputed -- strongly!  In a group of thousands, one can't expect to find a
uniform opinion on many topics.

The post regarding formula not saving lives in general seemed to me to be quite balanced, both in
the acknowledgment that formula is really tinkered-with proteins & carbs and nothing more, and that
it has a specific use for certain problems.

The real point is that:

(1)  Upon occasion, a substitute for mother's milk can be necessary.

and

(2)  Formula is one such substitute, among others, but isn't really the miracle it claims to be.

I don't see any type of judgmental language there.  But I can see the pain that Andrea's feeling,
and apparently that post was a flashpoint for it.  This begs the question:  does such an outpouring
of emotion on Lactnet serve a purpose?  Well, perhaps so.

It's a reminder that sometimes, the statement "thank goodness my child had formula" is NOT ONLY an
opportunity to share factual information on why formula isn't a savior, BUT ALSO a not-so-subtle
clue that someone had a painful experience with not being able to nurse, and may need some TLC
along with the data refuting their point of view.

My experience has been that many (but certainly not all) mothers who are passionate advocates of
nursing have a personally painful story associated with that passion.  It's a good thing to let
that experience contribute to our passion, our compassion, but also to prevent it from becoming a
barrier to discussion.  (Case in point -- sometimes, the implication with sharing awful
breastfeeding problems can be "so if I did it, anybody can," which can be scary for someone having
their own brand of awful problems.)

Meandering here...

Anyway, for what it's worth, I have learned one great truth in all of my conversations with other
mothers: There's no way to "win" at having an opinion.  What counts is having the right
information, and giving that gift to another with the right frame of heart.

Debbie McCallister

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