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Subject:
From:
Dee Kassing <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sat, 1 Oct 2005 19:07:53 -0700
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Hello, Nikki.
   You may be right about baby being very angry.  Birth was difficult, and he may be blaming mom, because there's no one else around to yell at!  You could suggest that mom pick a quiet time, perhaps about 15 minutes before she expects baby to be hungry.  Go into a quiet, dimly-lit room, and mom can just have a discussion with baby.  You have to explain to mom that, of course we know that babies can't talk and we don't expect them to understand her words, but even so, babies often seem to respond to the mom's *intention*.
   Mom can tell baby how happy she is that he is here, and wonderful it feels to hold him, how scared she was when labor was not progressing, and how sad she is that baby doesn't want to nurse because mom was really looking forward to that special time.  Mom will get the idea, if you give her these kinds of suggestions.  And, just like you've talked about suggesting that moms let baby cry out their frustration with birth while holding them s2s in those first 24 hours,  you can suggest to mom that she might expect that baby might want to fuss or cry at points during this conversation.  Mom should allow baby his turn in the conversation, maybe even nodding and saying something to the effect of, "Yes, I'm sure it was frightening for you too."
   I always admit that it sounds nuts, but that I've known of numerous babies who then went on to breastfeed, after mom let baby know how much she really wanted to do this, and how much she was missing that experience, and tried to acknowledge how baby might be feeling.  Babies pick up on their mother's emotions, even if they don't know what all the words mean.  I always tell the mom that it might not help, but it sure can't hurt.
   Dee Kassing, IBCLC, RLC, LLLL

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